Segment aired Sept. 6, 2014 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
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5.
At the end of World War II, an English madame sets up a brothel in Berlin, figuring to capitalize on all the western soldiers around. Unfortunately, the Yanks just find local girlfriends, and there are no German men with any money, so the brothel struggles terribly.
Worse, next door, a small German bakery grabs whatever business there is to be had. Desperate, the English madame visits the bakery one morning to see if she can work out some kind of deal.
As soon as she walks in, a blueberry muffin leaps off the oven tray, rolls across the floor, flies under her skirt and bites her on the vagina. The woman screams, and all the workers in the bakery come running.
“That bloody thing just bit me!” she said.
“What are you talking about?”
Before the madame can repeat herself, another muffin leaps off the pan, zips under her skirt and gives her a nip on the cooch.
“Oww! What kind of bakery is this?” the madame screams.
“Go away, old woman!” the workers say.
“Go away? This is dangerous! I’m telling everyone!”
So the madame starts raising a ruckus, people gather in the shop door, and the bakery people try to hustle her out of the shop. But the madame points at them, and she sings, “Come all without! Come all within! Your Nazi Muffins Like to Bite Me Quim!”
