poem – Dave's Gone By

Dave’s Gone By Skit: Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #161 (4/25/2020): RABBI SOL SOLOMON READS SHAKESPEARE’S SONNET #30

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #161 (4/25/20): RABBI SOL SOLOMON READS SHAKESPEARE’S SONNET #30

(Rabbi Sol Solomon’s 161st Rabbinical Reflection debuted live as part of Irondale Ensemble theater company’s virtual Sonnet Marathon on April 23, 2020 and then aired Saturday, April 25, 2020 as part of Dave’s Gone By: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_U35BeLXRg&t=4s)

Shalom, Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon, founder and spiritual leader of Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York. And I am delighted to be taking part in Irondale Ensemble’s Sonnet Marathon to honor April 23rd, the day William Shakespeare was born. It’s also the day he died, but why be negative?

And besides, who needs sanitizer, when we can all be Sonnetized?

I have chosen to read Sonnet number 30; in Roman numerals that’s XXX, in Hebrew: Yud Yud Yud.

“When to the sessions of sweet silent thought

I summon up remembrance of things past,

I sigh the lack of many a thing I sought,

And with old woes new wail my dear time’s waste:

Then can I drown an eye, unus’d to flow,

For precious friends hid in death’s dateless night,

And weep afresh love’s long-since-cancell’d woe,

And moan th’ expense of many a vanish’d sight;

Then can I grieve at grievances foregone,

And heavily from woe to woe tell o’er

The sad account of fore-bemoaned moan,

Which I new pay as if not paid before.

But if the while I think on thee, dear friend,

All losses are restor’d, and sorrows end.”

Now, what do we learn from this Sonnet? First: it’s ideal for Jews: it’s depressing, it’s about regret, and how tempting it is to rehash miseries over and over. Sorry—o’er and o’er.

The schmendrick in this poem sighs over spilled milk, cries over dead people, grieves over old pussy, and then complains that he’s wasting precious time being unhappy. Freud would have a field day with this putz.

But of course, Shakespeare being universal, we are the putz. Even before the pandemic, who among us hasn’t wasted decades on worry, fear, disappointment, inertia, and that most Jewish of bugaboos, guilt?

The silver lining is when you have someone who brightens your day: a friend, a pet, an anatomically correct, inflatable rubber Gal Gadot doll. Even if your loved one is merely a memory, it can erase all the tzuris of what Rabbi Tom Lehrer once called, “your drab, wretched lives.”

And so my dear friends, in this time of woes and grievances, where we can’t dab our drowning eyes because there’s no goddamn toilet paper, remember the good times and the good people of those times.

This is Rabbi Sol Solomon wishing you sweet thoughts and ended sorrows. And Charmin! Two ply!

Shalom!

Dave’s Gone By Skit: Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #152 (1/1/2018): Farewell 2017

RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #152 (1/1/18): Farewell 2017

(Aired Dec. 31, 2017 on Dave’s Gone By. Youtube: https://youtu.be/LZok1OAX8Gk)

click above to listen (audio only)

Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the week of January 1, 2018.

Hard to believe, but the tumultuous, ridiculous year of 2017, or, as I like to call it, 5777-5778, is coming to an end. We’ve made it through 365 days without a nuclear war, an ice age, and a new Renny Harlin film, so why grouse?

As I did last year, I have chosen to summarize the events of the past annum in a poetical-artistical form, so I hope you will bear with me as we bid shalom to the current year and, well, shalom to the next. Seriously, whoever invented Hebrew really dropped the ball on word coinage. Anyhoo, here goes:

`Twas the night before New Year’s and throughout this great land,
Americans took about all they could stand

The country was split between blue states and red
And folks on each side wished the other side dead

The Democrats never imagined they’d lose
To a man who refers to the truth as “fake news”

A man who will speak without filters or grace
Though he could not repeal and he could not replace

And so, onto migrants Trump’s temper did fall
But Mexico said, “We won’t pay for your wall!”

“Now, folks,” said The Donald, “I’m just getting warm!
I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll do tax reform!”

And just before Christmas, the bill it did pass.
It’s great for the rich, not the poor and middle-class.

The stock market soared, the jobless claims fell
And still we all feel like we’re going to hell

Big hurricanes drowned with their winds and their waves
And statues came down `cause their subjects owned slaves

The national anthem brought teams to their knees
While Hollywood drowned in an ocean of sleaze

Oh Spacey, oh Keillor, oh Lauer, oh Franken
A few should get jailtime, the others a spankin’

The Democrats grinned when Fox News canned O’Reilly
Till the axe fell on Schwartz, Hockenberry, and Smiley

And suddenly hashtags were filled with “Me Toos”
Against a whole passel of rich, horny Jews

Yet Hollywood shlock remained vegetative
“Star Wars” 26 – how innovative!

But at least cinema took our minds off our woes
Prince Harry did, too, when he chose to propose

But still there were shootings by Muslims and crazies
With Jason Aldean fans all pushing up daisies

Now, that Vegas massacre was not by a Muslim
But they sure got mad at a Jewish Jerus’lem

And speaking of mad, how about North Korea
Which seems like it’s ready to start World War Threea

The pundits were urging our chief to stay calm
While Rocket Man threatened to liquidate Guam

But Trump was no Scrooge, no fiend out of Dickens
Why, he tossed paper towels at wet Puerto Ricans

He railed against Clinton, he’s threatening DACA
He kisses hot women but won’t use Binaca

He seated Neil Gorsuch upon the high court
To make it much harder for girls to abort

He praised Neo-Nazis so white folks were mollified
And all his appointees were ultra-unqualified

That said, he bombed Syria for murder by gas
So why does he Tweet and kiss Putin’s ass?

O.J.’s a free man until his next trial
And Mary Tyler Moore turned off her smile

This year we lost Domino, Berry, and Petty
And Allman and Cassidy and enough already.

2018 is just up ahead
With midterm elections to fill us with dread

The Winter Olympics will bore us with thrills
So doctors, please don’t ban our opioid pills

We’ll need them to get through each day and each night
Happy New Year to all, and to all a “La-La-Land.” I mean, “Moonlight!”

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches, in Great Neck, New York. Shana Tovah!

Dave’s Gone By #593 (2/11/2017): GET BACK

Click above to listen to the episode (audio only).

Here is the 593rd episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio, Feb. 11, 2017. Info: davesgoneby.com.

Host: Dave Lefkowitz
Guest: poet Irene Backalenick, Dave’s wife Joyce

Featuring: Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with poet and former theater critic Irene Backalenick. Plus: Inside Broadway, Bob Dylan – Sooner & Later (trees), Saturday Segues (two peters, in the news), Greeley Times.

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN w/ Joyce (dog seizure, Dorothy, Hans Moleman, delis)
00:36:30 GREELEY CRIMES, OLD TIMES, & FRACCIDENTS
01:18:00 SATURDAY SEGUE – Two Peters
01:43:30 INSIDE BROADWAY
02:21:00 GUEST: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews Irene Backalenick
03:00:00 Sponsors
03:03:00 BOB DYLAN – Sooner & Later (trees)
03:28:00 Friends
03:36:00 SATURDAY SEGUE – In the News
04:14:30 Weather
04:17:30 DAVE GOES OUT

Feb. 11, 2017 Playlist: “Do I Have to Do This All Over Again” (01:21:30), “Little Girl” (01:31:00) & “Tear the Top Right Off My Head” (01:37:00; The Monkees). “Come Talk to Me” (01:24:30) & “D.I.Y.” (01:34:00; Peter Gabriel). “As If We Never Said Goodbye” (Sunset Boulevard, 1994 Broadway cast w/ Glenn Close). “Apple Suckling Tree” (03:09:00) & “Huck’s Tune” (03:15:30; Bob Dylan). “Man in the Long Black Coat” (03:12:00; Mark Lanegan). “Patriot’s Dream” (03:36:30; Arlo Guthrie). “Cat Joke” (03:39:30; Professor Irwin Corey). “Frozen Warnings” (03:40:30; Nico). “Voices Carry” (03:35:00; `til Tuesday). “You are in My Arms” (03:49:00; Sylvie Simmons). “All the Trees of the Field Will Clap Their Hands” (04:22:30; Sufjan Stevens).

(pictured: Irene Backalenick, Rueful Reflections – Book 1, Peter Tork, Peter Gabriel, Hugging a tree for Tu B’Shvat.)

Dave’s Gone By #536 (12/12/2015): FRANKLY

Click above to listen to the episode (audio only).

Here is the 536th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio, Dec. 12, 2015. Info: davesgoneby.com.

Featuring: Dave chats with old friend Jeff Goodman; Inside Broadway; Rabbi Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection (Hanukkah Haiku); Saturday Segues (Frank Sinatra, vacation); Bob Dylan – Sooner & Later (Sinatra’s Shadows); Greeley Crimes & Old Times.

Host: Dave Lefkowitz
Guest: former guest co-host Jeff Goodman, Dave’s wife Joyce

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN w/ Joyce (so long semester, snu, temps, Eggley Bagelface, The Soup, Mama Doni, Hawaii Kai, Kaleidoscope, horse head)
01:12:30 GREELEY CRIMES & OLD TIMES
01:47:30 GUEST: Jeff Goodman
02:36:00 SATURDAY SEGUE – Frank Sinatra
02:59:00 Sponsors
03:02:00 INSIDE BROADWAY
03:23:00 BOB DYLAN – Sooner & Later (Sinatra’s Shadows)
03:40:30 Sponsors
03:45:30 RABBINICAL REFLECTION #132 – Hanukkah Haiku
03:51:00 Friends
03:46:30 SATURDAY SEGUE – Vacation
04:16:30 Weather & Thanks
04:20:30 DAVE GOES OUT

Dec. 12, 2015 Playlist: “Chanukah Fever” (Mama Doni). “Chanukah” (01:08:30; Six13). “The Coffee Song” (02:39:00). “It’s the Same Old Dream” (02:42:00), “It Never Entered My Mind” (02:44:30), “You Make Me Feel So Young” ({live}; 02:47:30), “You’ll Never Walk Alone” (02:51:00) & “I Have Dreamed” (04:22:00; Frank Sinatra). “A Brand New Day” (03:19:30; The Wiz 2015 TV cast). “That Lucky Old Sun” (03:27:30), “What’ll I Do” (03:31:00) & “Stay With Me” (03:34:30; Bob Dylan). “The Draidel Song” (03:50:00; Mickey Katz). “Your Mind is on Vacation” (03:57:30; Van Morrison). “Take a Musical Break” (04:00:30; Dottie Burman). “Albuquerque” (04:02:30; Neil Young). “Take Me Away” (04:06:30; Oasis). “Homeward Bound” (04:11:00; Simon & Garfunkel).

Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #132 (12/12/2015): HANUKKAH HAIKU

click above to listen (audio file)

click above to listen (audio only)

Rabbinical Reflection #132: Hanukkah Haiku

aired Dec. 12, 2015 on Dave’s Gone By. Youtube clip: https://youtu.be/6AxN-ZfHRak

Shalom, Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the week of December 12, 2015.

With everything going on in the world – the craziness, the killing, chaos in the GOP, E. coli at Chipotle—which is really confusing because how the hell are you supposed to differentiate noro-virus diarrhea from regular Chipotle diarrhea? Such distinctions are lost on me. But what we must not lose this mid-December is the arrival of Chanukah. Eight days of happiness and food and gratitude, and a reminder that every Jewish holiday isn’t about fasting and wishing you could afford maid service.

Sometimes we win. Sometimes the enemy who is trying to destroy us, or weaken our faith, gets a shank in the ribs. We did it to Egypt in a thousand BC, we did it to the Greeks—who bent over and took it—and one day we’ll do it to ISIS and ISIL and Al Qaeda and Boko Haram, and maybe the first guy who said, “Hey, it’s Halloween soon. Let’s put pumpkin spice in everything. Lattes, pancakes, donuts, beef wellington—doesn’t matter. Pumpkin spice is the new oxygen.” We need to get him.

Anyhoo, Chanukah commemorates a small band of Jews who would not succumb to the hellish Hellenic hellions who tried to hinder our Hebrew historicity. The second temple in Jerusalem was recaptured from the Greeks, re-consecrated as a synagogue, and retrofitted for Wi-Fi. And when the Hashmonaim were cleaning the temple, and making it minty fresh, they had only a drop of oil with which to light the holy candelabra, the menorah. And yet that oil burned day and night for eight straight days. The electric bill must have been horrendous, but the point is: miracles do happen. They happened then, they happen now. It’s a miracle that a computer can digitally print working human organs. It’s a miracle you can stare at a hole in the ground in a city block, come back six months later, and it’s an office building. It’s an astounding miracle that someone like me is on the radio.

So let us delight with our family, our friends—all the people we barely tolerate for fear of loneliness—and cheer the miraculous holiday of Chanukah. To do so, I have written a few short poems celebrating the Festival of Lights in haiku form. Haiku is a Japanese poetry style that is perfectly marvelous because it’s so short. As soon as you get started, you’re finished. Like a teenage boy on prom night. Your entire thought process must fit into a mere 17 syllables, which proves the Japanese not only invented haiku but twitter.

I pray that you enjoy these holiday poems from me, Rabbi Sol. Chanukah Chaikus:

Eight candles burning
On my shaky menorah.
Shit! Call 9-1-1.

Headline: Polish Jews
Suffer Third-Degree Burns When
Bobbing for Latkes

Judah Maccabee
And sons beat the Greek army
Yay for terrorists!

Happy holidays, my friends, and may all your dreidel spins come up hay. I’d say gimel, but why press your luck? This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches, in Great Neck, New York.

NON-FICTION – ESSAY – HUMOROUS: Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #132 (12/12/2015): HANUKKAH HAIKU

Dave’s Gone By Interview (12/15/2005): CHRISTOPHER RICKS

click above to listen (audio only)

Dave Lefkowitz interviews literary scholar and “Dylan’s Visions of Sin” author Christopher Ricks

Topics include: Bob Dylan, poetry

Segment originally aired Dec. 15, 2005 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com