poetry – Dave's Gone By

Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #175 (3/17/2022): James Joyce

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RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #175 (3/17/2022): St. Patrick’s Day

Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for St. Patrick’s Day, 2022.

As the saying goes, everyone’s Irish on St. Patrick’s Day! Italians, Hispanics, African-Americans are Irish. Well, Black Irish. Jews, too, identify with our Celtic brethren, because we suffered oppression, we love literature, and just as the Irish swallow their ale, Jews wallow in our ailments.

I can think of no better way to celebrate Irishness than sharing poetry by James Joyce, who is, notwithstanding Agatha Christie and George R.R. Martin, the most important writer to have two first names. Here’s a little verse from 1904 called “Silently She’s Combing.”

Silently she’s combing, combing her long hair
Silently and graciously with many a pretty air.
The sun is in the willow leaves and on the dappled grass
and still she’s combing her long hair that goes down past her ass.

No, I’m kidding — it’s “before the looking glass.”

I pray you, cease to comb out, comb out your long hair.
All you’re doing is getting lice everywhere.

No, kidding again. I’ll spare you the rest of the poem; it’s just a guy worried that his girl is a skank.

Let’s try another verse, this one with a Jewish cadence: “All Day I Hear the Noise of Waters.”

All day I hear the noise of waters
making moan.
Sad as the seabird is when, going forth alone
He hears the winds cry to the water’s monotone.

The grey winds, the cold winds —

See? This is why Jews move to Florida.

I hear the noise of many waters far below.
All day, all night, I hear them flowing to and fro.

Basically, the guy needs a space heater and some Prozac. But James Joyce is clearly using nature to reflect the psychology of his characters. Much as Yiddish-Irish poet Shmuel O’Malleystein did when he wrote, “Toilet’s backed up again. Ruining the floors. Guess we go back to pooping outdoors.”

Let me close my scholarly examination of James Joyce with this passage from Finnegan’s Wake, which I think is the key to his work, if not all literature:

The spoil of hesitants. The spell of hesitency. His atake — is it ashe, tittery-taw tattery-tail, Hasitense hump-on-a-dimply, heyhey-heyhey a winceywencky.

I couldn’t have put it better myself.

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York. Slainte’ (slant-cha) and L’Chaim!

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Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #174 (2/14/2022): Poems for Valentine’s Day

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RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #174 – Poems for Valentine’s Day

Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a special poetical Rabbinical Reflection for Gingold Theatrical Group’s Virtual Open Mic Night on this Valentine’s Day, 2022.

You know, poetry is central to the Jewish people, from biblical psalms to Leonard Nimoy’s “Warmed by Love.” Since poetry expresses love, I wish to share with you some classic Jewish poems of romance and arousal. For example, Rabbi Tseitlin of Detroit gave us this most appetizing sonnet:

Shall I compare thee to a hot knish?
Thou art more tasty and much cuter
With boobs as plump as gefilte fish
And scrumptious nipples on each hooter.

A knish is square, but thou do curve
With far more spice than hot pastrami
Thy sexiness makes me a perv
When thou dost swallow my salami

Thou art chicken soup for my soul
and matzoh farfel for my heart
Your kugel makes me lose control
In a good way — not like when I shart

So long as Jews can shlep and kvetch and daven
I eat you up and give you all my lovin’.

Is it any wonder Rabbi Tseitlin has restraining orders in twelve different Michigan counties?

Let us consider this poem from the great Rabbi Vogel of Omsk:

Roses are red, violets are thrilling me
I love you so much,
but my prostate is killing me.

Inspired by Rabbi Vogel, I, too, have written short verse, many in the haiku form. For example, this Chanukah-ku:

Dreidels made of clay.
When they’re dry, it’s time to play.
Women? The reverse.

Of course, not all poems about love are so refined. For an earthier exploration of desire, we turn to Rebbetzin Meyrowitz, widow of the great Estonian Rabbi, Leroy. Here’s a gem from her shocking blue period, shocking because it was her first period since her thirties.

There was a young girl from Tiberias
whose horniness made her delirious
They found her in Gaza
Undressed in a plaza
Her pregnancy ain’t that mysterious

In her latter years, Rebbetzin Meyrowitz became more audacious, disgusting even, as when she wrote:

In order to brighten his sukkas
Reb Mendelsson hired three hookas
They pulled on his payess
and sat on his fayess
and jammed an etrog in his tukas.

My friends, somewhere in the Torah — I’m not sure where — it says “Love Thy Neighbor.” — not possible. But we can still aspire to love, if only as a poetic ideal.

My hope for all of you during these times is that you receive love. And when you do, may you have enough money to pay the girl and her pimp.

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York. Happy Valentine’s Day.

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Dave’s Gone By #695 (5/4/2019): MMKAY

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Here is the 695th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired live on Facebook May 4, 2019. More info: davesgoneby.com.

Host: Dave Lefkowitz

Guests: singer Nellie McKay, Dave’s wife Joyce

Featuring: Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with Nellie McKay, Greeley Crimes & Old Times, Colorado Limerick of the Damned (Hoyt), StoryTime (Quantum Computing for Babies), Inside Broadway.
00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN w/ Joyce
00:06:30 DAVE’S GONE CULTURAL – Street Poem
00:20:30 GREELEY CRIMES & OLD TIMES
00:47:00 POTATO NEWS
01:04:30 STORYTIME – Quantum Computing for Babies
01:20:00 INSIDE BROADWAY (news & review (Ink 01:30:30 & Beetlejuice (01:47:00))
02:01:00 Friends of the Daverhood
02:15:30 POTATO HOTLINE
02:11:30 COLORADO LIMERICK OF THE DAMNED – Hoyt
02:19:00 GUEST: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews Nellie McKay
03:09:00 DAVE GOES OUT
Playlist: “I Love Him” (01:58:00; The Most Happy Fella 1956 Broadway cast w/ Jo Sullivan Loesser). “David” (03:08:00) & “Sentimental Journey” (03:12:00; Nellie McKay).

Dave’s Gone By Interview (1/5/2019): SAMUEL WHITEHILL & Rabbi Sol Solomon

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Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with actor Samuel Whitehill

Topics include: Rolling in the Deep, acting, Hebrew, poetry.

Segment airs Jan. 5, 2019 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

More information about Rabbi Sol Solomon: http://www.shalomdammit.com

Dave’s Gone By Interview (2/11/2017): IRENE BACKALENICK & Rabbi Sol Solomon

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Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews author Irene Backalenick

Topics include: theater, poetry, New York Times.

Segment airs Feb. 11, 2017 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
More information about Rabbi Sol Solomon: http://www.shalomdammit.com

Dave’s Gone By #593 (2/11/2017): GET BACK

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Here is the 593rd episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio, Feb. 11, 2017. Info: davesgoneby.com.

Host: Dave Lefkowitz
Guest: poet Irene Backalenick, Dave’s wife Joyce

Featuring: Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with poet and former theater critic Irene Backalenick. Plus: Inside Broadway, Bob Dylan – Sooner & Later (trees), Saturday Segues (two peters, in the news), Greeley Times.

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN w/ Joyce (dog seizure, Dorothy, Hans Moleman, delis)
00:36:30 GREELEY CRIMES, OLD TIMES, & FRACCIDENTS
01:18:00 SATURDAY SEGUE – Two Peters
01:43:30 INSIDE BROADWAY
02:21:00 GUEST: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews Irene Backalenick
03:00:00 Sponsors
03:03:00 BOB DYLAN – Sooner & Later (trees)
03:28:00 Friends
03:36:00 SATURDAY SEGUE – In the News
04:14:30 Weather
04:17:30 DAVE GOES OUT

Feb. 11, 2017 Playlist: “Do I Have to Do This All Over Again” (01:21:30), “Little Girl” (01:31:00) & “Tear the Top Right Off My Head” (01:37:00; The Monkees). “Come Talk to Me” (01:24:30) & “D.I.Y.” (01:34:00; Peter Gabriel). “As If We Never Said Goodbye” (Sunset Boulevard, 1994 Broadway cast w/ Glenn Close). “Apple Suckling Tree” (03:09:00) & “Huck’s Tune” (03:15:30; Bob Dylan). “Man in the Long Black Coat” (03:12:00; Mark Lanegan). “Patriot’s Dream” (03:36:30; Arlo Guthrie). “Cat Joke” (03:39:30; Professor Irwin Corey). “Frozen Warnings” (03:40:30; Nico). “Voices Carry” (03:35:00; `til Tuesday). “You are in My Arms” (03:49:00; Sylvie Simmons). “All the Trees of the Field Will Clap Their Hands” (04:22:30; Sufjan Stevens).

(pictured: Irene Backalenick, Rueful Reflections – Book 1, Peter Tork, Peter Gabriel, Hugging a tree for Tu B’Shvat.)

Dave’s Gone By #559 (5/28/2016): CHARME SCHOOL

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Here is the 559th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio, May 28, 2016. Info: davesgoneby.com.

Host: Dave Lefkowitz

Guests: comedians Al Ducharme & Bernadette Pauley, Dave’s wife Joyce.
Featuring: Dave and Rabbi Sol Solomon chat with married comedians Bernadette Pauley & Al Ducharme. Plus: Inside Broadway, Greeley Crimes & Old Times, Saturday Segues (Wesley & Allen, In the News).

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN w/ Joyce (Big Dave, voice changer, mic trouble, Weiner)
00:28:00 GREELEY CRIMES & OLD TIMES
00:58:00 GUESTS: Dave & Rabbi Sol Solomon interview Al Ducharme & Bernadette Pauley
01:44:30 SATURDAY SEGUE – Wesley & Allen
02:17:00 INSIDE BROADWAY
02:43:30 BOB DYLAN – Sooner & Later
03:04:00 Sponsors
03:10:00 Friends
03:17:00 SATURDAY SEGUE – In the News
03:41:30 Weather
03:45:30 DAVE GOES OUT

May 28, 2016 Playlist: “Banks and Credit” (01:13:00; Bernadette Pauley). “Annoying Kids” (01:40:00; Al Ducharme). “Hell Bus” (01:48:30), “I am a Rock, I am a Roll” (01:54:00) “Shoot Me in the Ass (02:12:30; Wesley Willis). “Love Forgiven” (01:51:30) & “Refrain” (01:57:00; Allen Ginsberg). “Everlasting” (Barrett Wilbert Weed; 02:41:00). “It Ain’t Me, Babe” (02:45:30; Kesha). “Arthur McBride” (02:50:00) & “That Old Black Magic” (02:57:00; Bob Dylan). “Low” (03:18:00; R.E.M.). “I Got Mail” (03:22:30; Crank Yankers). “I Had a Dream” (03:25:00; Loudon Wainwright III). “Hiroshima” (03:28:00; Ben Folds). “Lake Song” (03:49:00; The Decemberists).

Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #132 (12/12/2015): HANUKKAH HAIKU

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Rabbinical Reflection #132: Hanukkah Haiku

aired Dec. 12, 2015 on Dave’s Gone By. Youtube clip: https://youtu.be/6AxN-ZfHRak

Shalom, Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the week of December 12, 2015.

With everything going on in the world – the craziness, the killing, chaos in the GOP, E. coli at Chipotle—which is really confusing because how the hell are you supposed to differentiate noro-virus diarrhea from regular Chipotle diarrhea? Such distinctions are lost on me. But what we must not lose this mid-December is the arrival of Chanukah. Eight days of happiness and food and gratitude, and a reminder that every Jewish holiday isn’t about fasting and wishing you could afford maid service.

Sometimes we win. Sometimes the enemy who is trying to destroy us, or weaken our faith, gets a shank in the ribs. We did it to Egypt in a thousand BC, we did it to the Greeks—who bent over and took it—and one day we’ll do it to ISIS and ISIL and Al Qaeda and Boko Haram, and maybe the first guy who said, “Hey, it’s Halloween soon. Let’s put pumpkin spice in everything. Lattes, pancakes, donuts, beef wellington—doesn’t matter. Pumpkin spice is the new oxygen.” We need to get him.

Anyhoo, Chanukah commemorates a small band of Jews who would not succumb to the hellish Hellenic hellions who tried to hinder our Hebrew historicity. The second temple in Jerusalem was recaptured from the Greeks, re-consecrated as a synagogue, and retrofitted for Wi-Fi. And when the Hashmonaim were cleaning the temple, and making it minty fresh, they had only a drop of oil with which to light the holy candelabra, the menorah. And yet that oil burned day and night for eight straight days. The electric bill must have been horrendous, but the point is: miracles do happen. They happened then, they happen now. It’s a miracle that a computer can digitally print working human organs. It’s a miracle you can stare at a hole in the ground in a city block, come back six months later, and it’s an office building. It’s an astounding miracle that someone like me is on the radio.

So let us delight with our family, our friends—all the people we barely tolerate for fear of loneliness—and cheer the miraculous holiday of Chanukah. To do so, I have written a few short poems celebrating the Festival of Lights in haiku form. Haiku is a Japanese poetry style that is perfectly marvelous because it’s so short. As soon as you get started, you’re finished. Like a teenage boy on prom night. Your entire thought process must fit into a mere 17 syllables, which proves the Japanese not only invented haiku but twitter.

I pray that you enjoy these holiday poems from me, Rabbi Sol. Chanukah Chaikus:

Eight candles burning
On my shaky menorah.
Shit! Call 9-1-1.

Headline: Polish Jews
Suffer Third-Degree Burns When
Bobbing for Latkes

Judah Maccabee
And sons beat the Greek army
Yay for terrorists!

Happy holidays, my friends, and may all your dreidel spins come up hay. I’d say gimel, but why press your luck? This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches, in Great Neck, New York.

NON-FICTION – ESSAY – HUMOROUS: Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #132 (12/12/2015): HANUKKAH HAIKU

Dave’s Gone By Interview (12/31/2014): LISA ARATA

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Writer Lisa Arata calls in to the 2014 Dave’s Gone By New Year’s Special

Topics include: theater.

Segment, co-hosted by Joyce Weil, aired Dec. 31, 2014 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

Dave’s Gone By #324 (1/23/2010): SPEEDILY DELIVERED

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Here is the 324th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which debuted Jan. 23, 2010. Info: davesgoneby.com.

Featuring: Dave chats with David Newell, beloved Mr. McFeely of TV’s Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood. Plus: Inside Broadway (Finian’s Rainbow) and farewells to Effie Mihopoulos & Kate McGarrigle.

host: Dave Lefkowitz
guest: David Newell (aka Mr. McFeely from “Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood”)

00:00:00 DAVE GOES IN
00:14:00 GUEST: David Newell
00:51:00 INSIDE BROADWAY (theater news, Finian’s Rainbow)
01:14:00 DAVE GOES OUT

Jan. 23, 2010 Playlist: “How are Things in Glocca Morra?” (Finian’s Rainbow original Bway cast), “Talk to Me of Mendocino” (Kate McGarrigle).