Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’s RABBINICAL REFLECTION #080 (11/3/2013): Redskins

RABBI SOL SOLOMON’s RABBINICAL REFLECTION #80 (11/3/2013): Redskins

Aired Nov. 2, 2013 on Dave’s Gone By. Youtube clip: http://youtu.be/rInYlSN4Gpg

Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the week of November 3rd, 2013.

In 1932, the Boston Braves football team changed their name to another Indian-related moniker: the Redskins. A few years later, they moved to Washington D.C., but they kept their name and have ever since. No one really paid attention to whether the name “Redskins” was offensive – not until 1992, when a group of Native Americans filed a trademark lawsuit against the team. The details are too complicated for me to explain here – because I have no idea what the hell they are. But I do know that arguing went back and forth in the courts for nearly two decades, and still, nobody really gave a crap. 

But recent times and sensitivities have changed, and there’s a legitimate movement afoot to get the Washington Redskins to change their name to something that doesn’t bring to mind tomahawks, smoke signals and sunburned skin color.

Team owners remain adamant that the Redskins have an 80-year history that would be needlessly negated by a name change. Not to mention the cost of changing the signage on everything from souvenir jackets to Rex Grossman bobblehead dolls. And let’s not forget having to change all the signs at Washington’s Jack Kent Cooke Stadium – wait, that was changed to FedEx Field in 2000. How terribly sad for the undying legacy of Jack Kent Cooke. I guess.

Anyhoo, people who are against keeping the Redskins ruby tinted always use this example: What if you had the same situation with a different ethnicity? The Florida Yids? The Pittsburgh Polacks? What if there was a basketball team in the NBA called the Darkies? Well, they all are, but you know what I’m saying.

For 80 years, the University of North Dakota nicknamed its team The Fighting Sioux – which sounds pro-Indian until you realize that “Sioux” was a blanket name given by the whites to cover several different Indian tribes. No doubt, the blanket had smallpox on it, too. But hey, if North Dakotans can adapt, why can’t Washingtonians? I realize that asking someone in Washington DC to be flexible is like asking Stephen Hawking to catch a fly ball, but still.

America’s history with its indigenous peoples is one of lies, bullying and bloodshed – which is America’s history with everything. It was only two generations ago that Cowboys and Indians was a game in which the macho anglo, chaps-wearin’, chaw-chewing Cowboys were the good guys trying to tame the savage, sneaky, tomahawk chopping, paint-wearing, ugga-wugga, smoke-signaling red man. Howevermuch scriptwriters tried to make him noble and clever, Tonto was the Lone Ranger’s bitch. Even his name, “tonto,” means stupid in Spanish. I know this because I looked it up – when my junior high school teacher nicknamed me that in Spanish class. I told my parents, and they made her change it. From then on, she called me “hijo de puta,” which she said means “wise one.” I should probably look that one up, too, but I trust her.

Getting back to the Redskins: as someone who comes from an oppressed people – New Yorkers – I empathize with the desire to undo a little piece of ugly history. There’s no good reason not to change the team name if enough people find it derogatory. When teams move, they change – look at the L.A. Dodgers and the Brooklyn Nets. Even the Beatles went through name-revisions. Do you think John, Paul, George and Ringo sat around saying, “No, we can’t change; we have such an important legacy as `The Quarrymen’”?

Of course, the fun part is finding a new name for the Redskins. One blogger suggested “The Washington Monuments,” which is brilliant, especially if it’s a defensive team; you try toppling a monument to get to the end zone. Others have suggested The Washington Warriors, or the Renegades. Then you had the punsters with their government jokes: The Washington Shutdown, The Washington Impasse, The DC Douchebags. And, for those of you getting old enough to eat your steaks in liquid form, how about The Watergates? Or the Reaganomics?

Polls have shown that most people – even Native Americans – are fine with the name “Redskins.” They’re used to it; they’ve even coopted it, the way black people have made the “n” word their own. And by the “n” word, I mean Nikes. Still, why are Americans still eating Aunt Jemima syrup and Uncle Ben’s rice? How many decades have the movies given us fast-talking Hispanic sidekicks, Asian dragon ladies, Italian guidos and Jewish mothers? There’s truth in stereotypes, and even some good things implicit in stereotypes, but there’s also a time to break the mold. So come, Washington Redskins, let’s smoke-um peace pipe and move forward. How? And how.

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York.

(c) 2013 TotalTheater. All rights reserved.

–> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=28899

RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #053 (1/20/2013): Lance Armstrong

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RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #53 (1/20/2013): Lance Armstrong

Aired January 19, 2013 on Dave’s Gone By.  Youtube clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ksF769ibSjk&feature=youtu.be

Shalom Dammit!  This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the week of January 20th, 2013.

I never understood the appeal of bicycle racing as a spectator sport.  Oh sure, it’s fun to pedal a Schwinn through the neighborhood while running errands, looking at the scenery and zipping past poor bastards in cars who have to stop for red lights.  It’s healthy exercise uphill, and it’s a mechayah downhill.

 Granted, the man who invented bicycle seats must have worked for the Nazis. I ask you: if they can design a chair cushion that makes you feel like you’re floating on a cloud, why can’t they make a bicycle seat that doesn’t mash your testicles halfway up your groin.

But be that as it may, watching people bicycle is about as much fun watching people roller skate. Twelve seconds and you wanna shoot yourself.  Thirty seconds and you wanna get on a bicycle and run the skaters over.

So the whole Tour de France mystique is lost on me. Cyclists spend day after day for three weeks riding two thousand miles just to put on a yellow jersey.  Sorry, but I can give Jet Blue some money, fly two thousand miles in half a day, and they give me a free headset. No contest.

But I do not deny the skill, athleticism or endurance of those who compete in these races, especially Lance Armstrong, who survived cancer to win the Tour de France for seven consecutive years. (It was testicular cancer, by the way, for which, as I said – I blame the bicycle seat!) Anyhoo, Lance Armstrong represented everything great about athletics. Training, discipline in body and mind, healthy diet, the will to win, grace under pressure and battling back against all odds.  He was one of those athletes parents could point to on a cereal box and say, “You could be like him, if you eat your Wheaties.”  What we didn’t know is that you had to sprinkle your Wheaties with corticosteroids and substitute the milk with Red Bull.

Now, believe it or not, I’m not categorically against performance-enhancing drugs.  Who’s to say what’s a natural additive and what’s going too far?  If one guy makes a morning shake out of a special secret recipe of wheat grass, crushed vitamins and horny goat weed, is he getting an unfair leg up on the guy who’s just eating pancakes?  And what if – just what if – Lance Armstrong decided to race competitively while he was still recovering from cancer?  Not expecting to win, but just to prove something to himself and to the world.  So his body is all full of these chemo chemicals that are keeping him alive – and, perhaps, enhancing his performance.  Where does therapy stop and doping begin?

I cannot answer these questions.  These are questions for doctors, chemists and Ozzy Osbourne.  What I can say is that Armstrong’s behavior has been reprehensible.  Not only did he lie for years, he discouraged, harangued and even threatened others who wanted to tell the truth.  He was a bully, and one of those people who breathe such rarified air, they imagine rules that apply to everyone else don’t apply to them.

Finally, when his back was against the wall – and his tuchas impaled on a banana seat – and there was nothing else to tell besides what we already knew, Armstrong allows himself to be cross-examined in prime time by Oprah Winfrey. Because criminality is so much more palatable when it’s packaged and sold as entertainment.  And because for Oprah to get ratings, it’s either this or getting Dr. Phil and Mehmet Oz to french each other.

As for the special itself, Armstrong admitted to some things, denied others, and looked for all the world like someone who’s about to lure you into a scientology booth.  One day Christopher Walken will play Armstrong in a movie, and he’ll actually be less creepy than the real thing.

Should we expect remorse? I know that’s big with defense attorneys – “Ooh, he feels really bad, let’s be nice to him.”  But Armstrong’s ego is such that he seems almost proud of getting away with cheating as long as he did.  Sure he’s sorry – sorry he got caught.  Which makes him little different from all the baseball players who turned the 1990s into a home-run derby. They sure gave us a lot of thrills while the commissioner looked the other way. But try telling kids, “Don’t do drugs!  Always play fair!  Drink your juice!” when their heroes are juicing in a very different way.  As for punishment, well, what will all those steroids will do to their bodies when these guys turn 60 or 70 – if they even get there? It’s like a chemical version of “Faust”; one day, you have to pay back the devil. Or Vince McMahon, take your pick.

But I do have a confession to make: I myself, have a problem with `roids. Hemorrhoids, and they’re killing me. Oprah would you like the scoop?

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York.

 (c) 2013 TotalTheater. All rights reserved.

–> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=29254

Dave’s Gone By Interview (2/17/2008): PHIL MUSHNICK

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Dave Lefkowitz interviews New York Post sports columnist Phil Mushnick

Topics: sports, journalism.

Segment originally aired Feb. 17, 2008 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode

All content (c)2008 TotalTheater Productions.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

Dave’s Gone By #260 (2/17/2008): MR. MUSHNICK

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Here is the 260th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on NY’s WGBB-AM radio, Feb. 17, 2008. Info: davesgoneby.com.

Host: Dave Lefkowitz
Guest co-host:Jeff Goodman
Guest: New York Post sportswriter Phil Mushnick

Featuring: Dave chats with New York Post sports columnist Phil Mushnick; Inside Broadway.  

00:00:01 Pre-show excerpt: Presidents’ Day & The Delegate Thing
00:09:00  DAVE GOES IN
00:17:00  GUEST: Phil Mushnick
00:43:00  INSIDE BROADWAY – News, Runt & Deathbed
01:06:00  DAVE GOES OUT

Playlist: “Mushnick & Son” (Little Shop of Horrors).

Phil Mushnick
Dave `n Jeff Goodman

Dave’s Gone By Interview (12/31/2007): ROB KOWAL

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As part of the special New Year’s Eve broadcast, Dave Lefkowitz chats with WGBB sports radio host Rob Kowal

Topics include: sports teams.

Segment originally aired live Dec. 31, 2007 and was then rebroadcast Aug. 3, 2008 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Interview segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode.

All content (c)2008 TotalTheater Productions.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

Dave’s Gone By Interview (12/31/2007): ADAM GLASS

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As part of the special New Year’s Eve broadcast, Dave Lefkowitz chats with his cousin, Adam Glass

Topics include: sports teams.

Segment originally aired live Dec. 31, 2007 and was then rebroadcast April 20, 2008 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Interview segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode

All content (c)2008 TotalTheater Productions.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

Dave’s Gone By #241 (10/7/2007): COLUMBUS DAZE

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Here is the 241st episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on NY’s WGBB-AM radio, Oct. 7, 2007. Info: davesgoneby.com.

host: Dave Lefkowitz
guest co-host: Jeff Goodman
guests: sports broadcaster Rob Kowal and spiritual leader Rabbi Sol Solomon

Featuring: Dave chats with sports broadcaster Rob Kowal, and Rabbi Sol Solomon offers his thoughts on Columbus Day. Plus: Inside Broadway.

00:00:01  DAVE GOES IN
00:14:00  GUEST: Rob Kowal
00:28:00  INSIDE BROADWAY – News and Forbidden Broadway  
00:48:00  SKIT: RABBI SOL SOLOMON ON COLUMBUS DAY (taken from “Shalom, Dammit!” TV show)
00:55:00  DAVE & JEFF (Goodman) – The Sponsors
01:03:00  JEFF – The Flight Home
01:10:00  DAVE GOES OUT

Oct. 7, 2007 Playlist: “Sail Away” (Randy Newman).

Rob Kowal
Jeff Goodman `n Dave

Dave’s Gone By Interview (9/30/2007): DAVE PRAEGER

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Dave Lefkowitz interviews the author of “Poop Culture,” Dave Praeger

Topics include: sanitation, excrement!

Segment originally aired Sept. 30, 2007, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode

All content (c)2007 TotalTheater Productions.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

Dave’s Gone By #162 (3/5/2006): KNOTTS LANDING

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Here is the 162nd episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on NY’s WGBB-AM radio, March 5, 2006. Info: davesgoneby.com.

host: Dave Lefkowitz

guest: Rabbi Sol Solomon

Featuring: Dave Goes Off on the sport of curling and pays tribute to Don Knotts, Darren McGavin & Dennis Weaver. Plus: Rabbi Sol Solomon on Torah Thieves.

00:00:01  DAVE GOES IN
00:07:30  DAVE GOES OFF – curling
00:21:00  SKIT: “Stolen Torah” w/ Rabbi Sol Solomon
00:39:30  DAVE REMEMBERS – Don Knotts, Darren McGavin, Dennis Weaver
00:56:00  DAVE GOES OUT

March 5, 2006 Playlist: “A Little Fish” (Miss Liberty Broadway cast w/ Eddie Albert).

Darren McGavin in A Christmas Story
Dennis Weaver as McLeod
curling
Rabbi Sol Solomon
your host

Dave’s Gone By #159 (2/5/06): BOWLING FOR SUPERS

click above for episode #159 (audio only)
Click above to listen to the episode (audio only).

Here is the 159th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on NY’s WGBB-AM radio, Feb. 5, 2006. Info: davesgoneby.com.

host: Dave Lefkowitz
guest: Laugh Factory club owner, Jamie Masada

Featuring: Dave chats with Laugh Factory owner Jamie Masada. Plus an Inside Broadway farewell to Wendy Wasserstein and the skit, Hermann Glogauer on Football

00:00:01  DAVE GOES IN
00:15:00  GUEST: Jamie Masada
00:33:00  INSIDE BROADWAY – Wendy Wasserstein
00:45:00  SKIT: Herman Glogauer on Football
00:51:00  DAVE GOES OUT

Feb. 5, 2006 Playlist: “I’m a Believer” (The Monkees).

Jamie Masada
Wendy Wasserstein
your host