Wretched Pun – Page 4 – Dave's Gone By

Dave’s Gone By Wretched Pun of Destiny #019 (12/31/2014): THE WHO

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The 19th Wretched Pun of Destiny segment aired Dec. 31, 2014 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
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19.
After the death of drummer Keith Moon, the Who decided to continue as a band, but they also had to figure out how to replace such a beloved and zany character. Since they couldn’t find one person who embodied everything Keith Moon was to the group, they decided on a split; they’d hire a great drummer with no personality, and a lovable mascot for stage shows.

Mascots came from all over to audition: tigers, aliens, pirates, cute sharks, smiley faces – hundreds of people dressed up in costumes hoping for this great touring gig. After many hours, the group made their choice. Because they were embarking on a U.S. tour of the East and Midwest, they picked a Florida manatee, a familiar sight along the eastern seaboard.

Night after night, the band played “Baba O’Reilly,” “My Generation,” and “Pinball Wizard” while the manatee mascot danced and swam in a fake onstage pond. The audience loved every minute, and everything went great until the last show of the tour. The mascot was running late and had to enter the stadium through the crowds waiting at the front. When the impatient patrons heard the Who doing their sound check, people started pushing and shoving to get in. Patrons were getting crushed, asphyxiated and trampled to death – including the poor mascot.

One reporter who was on the scene cried, “This is terrible! One of the worst catastrophes in the world! Oh, The Who Manatee!”

Dave’s Gone By Wretched Pun of Destiny #18 (12/27/2014): BEACH BOYS

Click above to listen.

The 18th Wretched Pun of Destiny segment aired Dec. 27, 2014 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

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18.
The Beach Boys are flying to a gig when their private jet starts having engine trouble. “Grab your parachutes,” says the pilot. “You’re gonna have to jump.”

“Jump?!” The band says. “We don’t know how to do that!”

“It’s easy,” says the pilot. “If you’re nervous, just focus on two things: make believe that you are your favorite Chinese meal, and then encourage your bandmates to be heroic. Here, watch me.”

The pilot opens the hatch and says, “I’m egg foo yung! So long, fearless friends!,” and jumps from the plane.

Al Jardine goes up next, grabs his chute and shouts, “I’m beef with broccoli! Adios, courageous crew!” And he jumps out.

Mike Love walks to the hatch, gulps and says, “I’m spare ribs! Ciao, my bold bold buddies,” as he, too, leaps from the aircraft.

Brian Wilson reaches the door, but he stops. “I can’t do it,” he says to his brothers Dennis and Carl. “You know I’ve got writer’s block. I can’t think of anything!”

Dennis says, “You have to!”

“I can’t,” says Brian. “I’m drawing a blank.”

“Well, if you can’t say it,” says Carl, “try singing it.”

“That’s it!” says Brian Wilson, pulling the ripcord. “I’m Peking Duck, Goodbye Brave Chums!”