A song for the Irishman in all of us.
Note: contains profanity and adult themes.
Song airs March 17, 2018, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.
All content (c)2018 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
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KISS ME, I’M IRISH
(music & lyrics by David Lefkowitz)
I come from down in Donegal
My family comes from Cork
My sisters live in Sligo
Though my brother’s in New York
My background is a source of pride
I’m Celtic through and through
And that makes me superior
To you and you and you
Now, Ireland isn’t perfect
We’ve had our little wars
We may have spilled some English blood
When settling old scores
But look around Hibernia
And how can you complain?
The grass is green and gorgeous
`cause there’s so much fecking rain
Kiss me, I’m Irish
Touch me, I’m a Turk
Marry me, I’m Mexican
and don’t believe in work
It doesn’t matter where you’re from
Or what your parents think
So kiss me on the Blarney Stone
And buy me one more drink.
The home of Sean O’Casey
And heavy woolen clothes
There’s Bono and there’s Enya
Apologies for those
The fighting and starvation
They show that we are tough
And when it comes to booze and sex
We never get enough, so
Kiss me, I’m Irish
French me, I’m French
Squeeze me, please, I’m Portuguese
If you can stand the stench
It doesn’t matter where you’re from
Or if you’re straight or queer
Just kiss me on St. Patrick’s Day
And buy me one more beer.
Now, you might call me racist
For mocking what I hate
But bashing Jews and towelheads
Is kind of fucking great!
I know that I’m a drunkard
With a three-inch, flaccid penis
But I feel like a porn star
when I’m guzzling my Guinness
There’s nothing we love better
Than a bonny, red-haired girl
To bring her on a date
where we can drink until we hurl
Sure, girls from other lands are fine
But an Irish female’s finer
`Cause she has fluffy flaming fecking hair
`round her vaginer!
Kiss me, I’m Irish
Lick me, I’m a Swede
Shake my hand, I’m African
And all I do is breed
It doesn’t matter where you’re from
Or if you’re lower class
So kiss me down in Dublin town
And buy me one more glass.
(slower)
It doesn’t matter where you’re from
Or if you’re short or tall
Just kiss me, I’m Irish
And give me alkyhol.
(c)2018 David Lefkowitz
