Dave’s Gone By Interview (2/13/2021): RAQUEL BITTON & Rabbi Sol Solomon

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Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with cabaret singer RAQUEL BITTON

Topics include: Morocco, Edith Piaf, Tony Bennett, concerts.
Segment aired Feb. 13, 2021 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio/podcast program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations.  For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.

All content (c)2021 TotalTheater Productions.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
More about Rabbi Sol Solomon: http://www.shalomdammit.com.

Dave’s Gone By Song (4/21/2018): CHESTER’S GAY

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A coming-out song about things going in.

Note: contains adult themes.

Song airs March 17, 2018, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations.  For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.

All content (c)2018 TotalTheater Productions.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
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Chester’s Gay

CHESTER’S GAY

(lyrics by David Lefkowitz. Melody: John Lennon and Paul McCartney’s “Yesterday”)


Chester’s gay
Came out to his parents yesterday
Now he needs a place to hide away
They can’t believe that Chester’s gay

They can’t see
he’s been hiding objects anally
And removing them quite painfully
Aw, Chester’s gay as a cucumber tree

He’ll go out to bars
and he’ll throw the night away
Then he’ll sit in cars and he’ll blow
Because he’s gay (gay gay gay)

Chester’s gay
And I don’t just mean he’s gay for pay
He’s a donut puncher all the way
Oh, why did Chester turn that way?

Mom and dad,
They don’t want to see their son as bad
But their Christian faith is ironclad
So now they’re feeling oh so sad.

He’ll fly to the Keys
where he’ll please a host of boys
Down on hands and knees
he will squeeze their greased-up toys (toys toys toys)

Chester’s queer
He puts massive objects in his rear
Too bad mom and dad are so severe
`cause it’s so clear that Chester’s gay.

Mm hmm hmm hmm
Chester’s gay.

©2018 David Lefkowitz

*********************

NOTES & BACKSTORY:
Backed by a karaoke instrumental of “Yesterday” and sprinkled with soundbites like “Hoowah!” and Harvey Fierstein cooing “I just love boys,” the song debuted on the March 31, 2018 episode of Dave’s Gone By.

—> https://youtu.be/fEgITaCet-w
—> https://davesgoneby.net/daves-gone-by-song-3-31-18-chesters-gay/

Dave’s Gone By Song (3/17/2018): KISS ME, I’M IRISH

A song for the Irishman in all of us.

Note: contains profanity and adult themes.

Song airs March 17, 2018, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.

All content (c)2018 TotalTheater Productions.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
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KISS ME, I’M IRISH

(music & lyrics by David Lefkowitz)

I come from down in Donegal
My family comes from Cork
My sisters live in Sligo
Though my brother’s in New York

My background is a source of pride
I’m Celtic through and through
And that makes me superior
To you and you and you

Now, Ireland isn’t perfect
We’ve had our little wars
We may have spilled some English blood
When settling old scores

But look around Hibernia
And how can you complain?
The grass is green and gorgeous
`cause there’s so much fecking rain

Kiss me, I’m Irish
Touch me, I’m a Turk
Marry me, I’m Mexican
and don’t believe in work

It doesn’t matter where you’re from
Or what your parents think
So kiss me on the Blarney Stone
And buy me one more drink.

The home of Sean O’Casey
And heavy woolen clothes
There’s Bono and there’s Enya
Apologies for those

The fighting and starvation
They show that we are tough
And when it comes to booze and sex
We never get enough, so

Kiss me, I’m Irish
French me, I’m French
Squeeze me, please, I’m Portuguese
If you can stand the stench

It doesn’t matter where you’re from
Or if you’re straight or queer
Just kiss me on St. Patrick’s Day
And buy me one more beer.

Now, you might call me racist
For mocking what I hate
But bashing Jews and towelheads
Is kind of fucking great!

I know that I’m a drunkard
With a three-inch, flaccid penis
But I feel like a porn star
when I’m guzzling my Guinness

There’s nothing we love better
Than a bonny, red-haired girl
To bring her on a date
where we can drink until we hurl

Sure, girls from other lands are fine
But an Irish female’s finer
`Cause she has fluffy flaming fecking hair
`round her vaginer!

Kiss me, I’m Irish
Lick me, I’m a Swede
Shake my hand, I’m African
And all I do is breed

It doesn’t matter where you’re from
Or if you’re lower class
So kiss me down in Dublin town
And buy me one more glass.

(slower)
It doesn’t matter where you’re from
Or if you’re short or tall
Just kiss me, I’m Irish
And give me alkyhol.

(c)2018 David Lefkowitz

Dave’s Gone By Song (7/9/2016): DEEP IN THE HEART OF DALLAS

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ZZ-Song-DeepintheHeartofDallas

Dave sings his socio-political ditty, “Deep in the Heart of Dallas.”

Song originally aired July 9, 2016, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode

All content (c)2016 TotalTheater Productions.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

DEEP IN THE HEART OF DALLAS

Oh the moon shone bright on a hot July night
Deep in the heart of Dallas
The crowd turned out to holler and shout
Deep in the heart of Dallas

They came in peace to protest police
Deep in the heart of Dallas
`Cause if you’re brown, you’ll get shot down
Pretty much anywhere, not just Dallas

Baton Rouge’s best shot a black in the chest
Deep in Louisiana
The gun was in his pocket, but the cops just said, “aw, fuck it!”
Deep in Louisiana

A few hours later in St. Paul, Minnesater
A guy and gal were drivin’
A zealous cop made them come to a stop
They thought that he was jivin’

The fuzz did shout, “Your taillight is out!
Let’s see your registration.”
He meant no harm, but he shot up the guy’s arm.
Which caused some consternation.

With two blacks dead all the people said,
“Out in the streets we’ll gather,
We’ll show the fuzz what a movement does:
Hashtag – Black Lives Matter.”

But one lone man had a bigger plan
Deep in the heart of Dallas
His name was Micah
And whites? He no like-ah
Deep in the heart of Dallas

Feelin’ low and mean with a full magazine
Deep in the heart of Dallas
He aimed real well, and the bodies fell
Deep in the heart of Dallas

A robot bomb blew his ass to kingdom come
Deep in the heart of Dallas
But not before he wounded seven more
Deep in the heart of Dallas

Now the cops hate blacks and the blacks hate them back
And nothing’s gonna stop it
And that is what we’re stuck with.
Each one thinks that the other one stinks
And boy, you better not fuck with.

The victims wail when the systems fail
Deep in the heart of America
It’s just another day in the good ol’ USA
Deep in the heart of America.

© 2016 David Lefkowitz

Dave’s Gone By Interview (1/13/2005): GEOFFREY TOZER

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Dave Lefkowitz chats with swanky sly crooner Geoffrey Tozer

Topics include: standards, music

Segment originally aired Jan. 13, 2005, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode.

All content (c)2005 TotalTheater Productions.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

Dave’s Gone By Song (11/4/2004): MAKIN’ POOPIES

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A song celebrating the joys of relief.

Segment originally aired Nov. 4, 2004, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode.

All content (c)2004 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

MAKIN’ POOPIES

by David Lefkowitz

Another seat, another bowl
Another log comes out my hole
It’s really pleasin’ when I’m a-squeezin’
And makin’ poopies.

I pull my shorts below my rump
I read the sports and take a dump
It’s brown and shiny straight from the hiney
That’s makin’ poopies.

Sometimes I sit for ages waiting so patiently.
Though my intestine rages, nuggets are all I see.

I eat some bran and have some juice
Run to the can and shake it loose
I wipe my tushie when it gets mooshy
From makin’ poopies.

My little rectum, it does the job
Be it a hot dog or just a blob
It’s such a passion to feel the splashin’
Of makin’ poopies.

I grit my teeth and hug my gut
while underneath I hear a “splut”
It always happens with all my crappin’s
I’m makin’ poopies.

One day my gut got swollen,
I chalked it up to gas.
But when I touched my colon,
Blood shot out of my ass.

Now I feel woe, and it’s a drag
`cause when I go, it’s in a bag
I miss the odors of all the floaters
When making poopies.

So listen here, I recommend
That once a year, check your rear end.
Just find a docto’ to do a procto
He’ll stick a finga up your gazinga
You’ll scream and yelp, but it may help
in makin’ poopies.

©2004 David Lefkowitz

Dave’s Gone By Song (6/24/2004): LOOK WHAT THEY DONE TO MY HEAD

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ZZSong-DontMesswithUs

With Muslim terrorists now staging decapitations for video, let’s imagine a song to go with them.

Segment originally aired June 24, 2004, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode.

All content (c)2004 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com


LOOK WHAT THEY DONE TO MY HEAD, MA

by David Lefkowitz

Look what they done to my head, ma.
Look what they done to my head.
Well, they hacked it off with a giant sword
And left me lying dead, ma.
Look what they done to my head.

They put my face on the `net.
They put my face on the `net.
We’ve changed regimes, but it don’t seem to make no difference yet, ma.
They put my face on the `net.

They made me read the Koran, man.
They made me read the Koran.
But I crossed my fingers and bit my tongue
And cursed the name Allah, ma,
So now I’m buried in dung.

Oh, look what they done to my head, ma.
Look what they done to my head.
Well, they tied it up in a plastic bag before I was even dead, ma.
Look what they done to my head.

One days these Muslims will pay, ma
One day these Arabs will pay.
They’ll pay in blood and burning flesh for what they done today, ma.
One day these scumbags will pay.

Oh, look what they done to your son, ma.
Look what they done to your son.
Well, they slaughtered me and martyred me
And now my song is done, ma
Look what they done: now I’m gone.

©2004 David Lefkowitz

Dave’s Gone By #79 (6/3/2004): CLUB SODA

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Here is the 79th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on NY’s WGBB-AM, June 3, 2004. More info: davesgoneby.com.

host: Dave Lefkowitz
guest: One Last November band (Soda & Jordan Pier)

Featuring: Dave chats with the musical duo One Last November. Plus: the satirical News Gone By.

00:00:01  DAVE GOES IN: Intro for One Last November
00:07:00  NEWS GONE BY: Spanish Voters; Spanky the Clown; Gay Logo; Hitler’s Nephew; Viennese Veggies
00:14:00  DAVE’S GOT GUESTS: One Last November (soda & jordan pier)
00:52:00  DAVE GOES OUT

June 3, 2004 Playlist: “Out On Me,” “Reason Why” & “Feel to Suffer” (One Last November).

One Last November
One Last November album cover
your host

Dave’s Gone By Song (12/23/2004) (I’m Having a) GAY CHRISTMAS (w/ Peter Fitzgerald)

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ZZ-Song-GayChristmas

Gay icon Peter Fitzgerald sings a Yuletide jolly.

Segment originally aired Dec. 23, 2004, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode.

All content (c)2004 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

(I’M HAVING A) GAY CHRISTMAS

by Peter Fitzgerald (as transcribed by David Lefkowitz)

Oh oh oh!

I’m having a gay Christmas, just my lover and me
We’ve got a goose in the oven,
and vibrating novelties on the tree.
I’m having a gay Christmas! Makes me feel so young.
The lights are glowing, the wind is blowing,
And the stockings are well-hung.

I’m having a gay Christmas, carolers at the door
Each one gets a flavored condom
If I can put it on `em, I give `em one more
I’m having a gay Christmas, shouting Ho Ho Ho!
I sing and dance and unzip my pants
Underneath the mistletoe.

Now, too many people are too uptight,
And they miss the beauty of a silent night
But ask my partner, that’s not how I am
When I poke his long, and he smokes my ham.

I’m having a sissy Christmas, full of yuletide cheer
I’m greasin’ up my chimney `cause between you and me, Santa’s queer!
He’s a bringing a load of presents
I’m gonna wear them all
And if candy canes leave sticky stains,
I’ll return them at the mall.

Now Christmas is a wonderful word
The sexiest word I’ve ever heard.
It starts with Christ, and ends in ass,
And “mm” in between for a great big mass!

I’m having a gay Christmas, just like Jesus did
The thought of him kissing Judas makes me want to molest a kid (no!)
I’m having a gay Christmas, eggnog by the fire
I wax my thighs and fantasize
About the Vienna Boys Choir.

Now Christmas is a time of joy
For every girl and, especially, boy.
And on December 24th, Santa’s pole points north, north, north!

I’m having a gay Christmas, yule log on the tube
I’m making my special icing, and basting the goose with k.y. lube
I’m having a gay Christmas, fruitcakes filled with rum
I shake and bake until I make all ye faithful cum!

Hurry Santa, please! I’m on my knees.

©2004 David Lefkowitz

Dave’s Gone By Song (12/8/2003): IT’S A STIFF

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ZZ-Song-ItsaStiff

A holiday ditty based on the true story of a woman who disposed of her unwanted infant in a not-so-Christmassy way.

Song aired Dec. 8, 2003, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode.

All content (c)2003 TotalTheater Productions.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

(c)2003 David Lefkowitz. 

IT’S A STIFF

Lyrics: David Lefkowitz. Music: Jule Styne’s “Let it Snow”)

Oh, the weather outside is frozen, 

so a Brooklyn church was chosen

All bundled in a blanket and a rag

There’s a small baby corpse in a bag.

The mother didn’t want to have her

So now she’s a blue cadaver

And it stinks if you take a whiff

It’s a stiff, it’s a stiff, it’s a stiff.

All the congregants in the church

They try to sympathize with the mother

`cause maybe in nine more months,

She’ll make a lifeless brother.

`Cause she didn’t really have an option

`cept birth control, abortion or adoption

When you’re stuck with a useless tot,

Let it rot, let it rot, let it rot.

Well, it’s kinda hard feeling merry

When you’ve got a bag of bones to bury

There’s very little skin inside;

Mummified, mummified, mummified.

They’ll measure her casket size

While a sermon’s being written

And makeup will soon disguise

Fingers all black and frostbitten. (crack!)

Now the temperature may be frigid

Enough to make a newborn rigid

Too late to save the infant’s soul.

Dig a hole, dig a hole, dig a hole.

It was just the baby’s time to die.

Wonder why, wonder why, wonder why.