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Here is the 107th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on NY’s WGBB-AM radio, Dec. 23, 2004. Info: davesgoneby.com.
host: Dave Lefkowitz
Featuring: A very musical holiday show, including Inside Broadway and the satirical News Gone By.
00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN 00:07:00 Dave on Xmas 00:19:00 INSIDE BROADWAY – Holiday Shows 00:27:00 NEWS GONE BY w/ “Santasia” poem 00:33:00 POEM: Santasia (Dave) 00:51:00 DAVE GOES OUT
Dec. 23, 2004 Playlist: “A Christmas Carol” (Tom Lehrer); “My Doggy’s Christmas Gift” (Dave, unreleased); “We Killed Santa Claus” (Dave, unreleased); “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” (Joseph Spence); “Santasia” (Dave, unreleased); “(I’m Having a) Gay Christmas” (Peter Fitzgerald, unreleased); “The Twelve Complaints of Christmas” (Rabbi Sol Solomon, unreleased, encore from 12/22/02 show), “Another Christmas Song” (Cab City Combo).
Segment originally aired Dec. 23, 2004, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode.
All content (c)2004 TotalTheater Productions. More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
(I’M HAVING A) GAY CHRISTMAS
by Peter Fitzgerald (as transcribed by David Lefkowitz)
Oh oh oh!
I’m having a gay Christmas, just my lover and me We’ve got a goose in the oven, and vibrating novelties on the tree. I’m having a gay Christmas! Makes me feel so young. The lights are glowing, the wind is blowing, And the stockings are well-hung.
I’m having a gay Christmas, carolers at the door Each one gets a flavored condom If I can put it on `em, I give `em one more I’m having a gay Christmas, shouting Ho Ho Ho! I sing and dance and unzip my pants Underneath the mistletoe.
Now, too many people are too uptight, And they miss the beauty of a silent night But ask my partner, that’s not how I am When I poke his long, and he smokes my ham.
I’m having a sissy Christmas, full of yuletide cheer I’m greasin’ up my chimney `cause between you and me, Santa’s queer! He’s a bringing a load of presents I’m gonna wear them all And if candy canes leave sticky stains, I’ll return them at the mall.
Now Christmas is a wonderful word The sexiest word I’ve ever heard. It starts with Christ, and ends in ass, And “mm” in between for a great big mass!
I’m having a gay Christmas, just like Jesus did The thought of him kissing Judas makes me want to molest a kid (no!) I’m having a gay Christmas, eggnog by the fire I wax my thighs and fantasize About the Vienna Boys Choir.
Now Christmas is a time of joy For every girl and, especially, boy. And on December 24th, Santa’s pole points north, north, north!
I’m having a gay Christmas, yule log on the tube I’m making my special icing, and basting the goose with k.y. lube I’m having a gay Christmas, fruitcakes filled with rum I shake and bake until I make all ye faithful cum!
