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Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #047 (11/25/2012): Gaza Gaza Hey

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RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #47 (11/25/2012): Gaza Gaza Hey

Aired November 24, 2012 on Dave’s Gone By. Youtube clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSL0TEmRah4&feature=youtu.be

Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the week of November 25th, 2012.

And so we find ourselves once again on the brink of war with our Arab brothers. We warn them: stop firing rockets in Gaza; they fire rockets in Gaza, and Jerusalem, and Tel Aviv. We tell them, recognize the state of Israel so we can have a starting point for peace talks; they want to obliterate Israel, instead. We say, Hamas and the Palestinian Authority have to be on the same page so we know whom to negotiate with; Mahmoud Abbas is a figurehead and Hamas fires weapons. It’s the same drek that’s been going on for sixty five years, and the tragedy is that it will go on long after our great-great-grandchildren are sipping prune juice in what’s left of Miami.

And, of course, Israel gets blamed. We’re the aggressors, we’re the ones occupying the territories, we’re the ones who own the pro-Jewish media, we’re the ones who keep making sitcom knock-offs of “Two and a Half Men.” A million and twelve times I’ve given my speech about how Israel belongs to Israel, how the Palestinians should go live anywhere else in the Arab world, and how no matter what Israel does – even if Israel were, God forbid, wiped off the map – that would not stop the Arabs from killing and terror and dragging the world back to the fifth century. If anything, it would only embolden them: “Ooh, we destroyed a democracy filled with people who have different social values. Gee, what other country can we do that to?”

Left-wing pundits are saying that Israel should not refuse to negotiate with terrorists. You have to negotiate with Arab terrorists or else there’s no one to talk to. Fine, let Israel negotiate with Hamas, just like we did with Yasser Arafat – because that was so productive, right? If Hamas, or Al-Qaida, or the Taliban, or the PLO, or the AFLCIO want to lay down their weapons and negotiate a true ceasefire – great, get a room at the U.N., we’ll bring the chips and dip. But sixty-five years of overtures to the Arab world have given us only one peace deal, with Egypt, and God knows where that’s headed after the revolution over there.

I’ll say it one more time: if Arabs want to live in Israel, fine. Let them live IN Israel, peacefully, as Israelis, in a Jewish state carved out of a tiny nugget of the middle east as recompense for the Holocaust. If the Arabs don’t want to live IN Israel, they can move to Jordan, or Syria, or Lebanon, or Iran, or Iraq, or Mexico, or Sudan – actually, I just threw Mexico in there to see if you were paying attention. And if the Arabs want to live near Israel, they have to stop sending us exploding Christmas gifts with “Made in Iran” on them.

Yes, Israel gets gazillions of dollars of weapons from the United States – so Israel can keep the Middle East stable instead of having to send American teenagers to do it. And yes, living conditions are grueling in the occupied territories – so don’t live there! Israel won those territories in two wars, they own it – get over it, get off it.

Israel is not going away. It’s our teentsy-weentsy little homeland, and the Arab world – which really couldn’t give a rat’s ass about the Palestinians or else the Palestinians would all be living there – the Arab world hates the West, hates the Jews, and has no interest in any kind of peace that does not involve total and complete annihilation of its enemies. Well, maybe not complete annihilation. They’d probably want to leave a few hundred behind just to torture.

At this time of Thanksgiving, let us pray for a cease fire, for cool heads and hopeful headlines, for lasting peace, and for a 48-inch HD TV with surround sound. Hey, at least I have a shot at that last one.

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York.

–> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=29318

Dave’s Gone By Interview (11/24/2012): RICK LENZ & Rabbi Sol Solomon

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Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with actor and author Rick Lenz.

Topics include: Rick Lenz’s Hollywood career, in-laws, marriages, substance issues and creative rebound.

Segment originally aired Nov. 24, 2012 on the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Note: Interview segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.

All content (c)2012 TotalTheater Productions.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
More information on Rabbi Sol Solomon: http://www.shalomdammit.com

Dave’s Gone By Interview (11/17/2012): FRANK DECARO & Rabbi Sol Solomon

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Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with humorist and author Frank DeCaro. (Introduction by Dave Lefkowitz)

Topics include: Hollywood, homosexuality and The Dead Celebrity Cookbook

Segment originally aired Nov. 17, 2012 on the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
More information on Rabbi Sol Solomon: http://www.shalomdammit.com

Dave’s Gone By Interview (10/27/2012): DAVID YAZBEK & Rabbi Sol Solomon

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Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with musician and Broadway composer-lyricist David Yazbek.

Topics include: Broadway, The Full Monty, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown.

Segment originally aired Oct. 27, 2012 on the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
More information on Rabbi Sol Solomon: http://www.shalomdammit.com

Dave’s Gone By Interview (10/27/2012): JEFFREY GURIAN & Rabbi Sol Solomon

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Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with comedian and comedy club emcee Jeffrey Gurian.

Topics include: The Comic Strip and Jeff’s book, “Make `em Laugh.”

Segment originally aired Oct. 27, 2012 on the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
More information on Rabbi Sol Solomon: http://www.shalomdammit.com

Dave’s Gone By Interview (10/13/2012): RABBI SAMUEL INTRATOR & Rabbi Sol Solomon

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Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with Samuel Intrator, former Rabbi of NYC’s Carlebach Synagogue and member of Real Peace Middle East.

Topics include: Israel, Shlomo Carlebach, politics, Real Peace Middle East.

Segment originally aired Oct. 13, 2012 on the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
More information on Rabbi Sol Solomon: http://www.shalomdammit.com

Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #046 (10/7/2012): Dave’s Gone By Anniversary

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RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #46 (10/7/2012): Dave’s Gone By Anniversary

Aired October 7, 2012 on Dave’s Gone By. Youtube clip: Dave’s Gone By Anniversary.

Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the week of October 7th, 2012.

Ten years ago, on a little radio station in Merrick, New York, my good friend Dave Lefkowitz took it upon himself to create a radio program. A program that would mix funny and serious, music and talking, celebrities and nobodies, all with a healthy dose of low-power, AM radio static. He called it “Dave’s Gone By,” and the program debuted October 6th, 2002.

Reaction was immediate. Not since the invention of the Happy Hot Dog Man has an event been met with such a breathtaking combination of loathing and apathy. And yet Dave persevered, week after week, month after month (and on the Hebrew calendar, we sometimes have 13 months a year, so that’s even longer), year after year until here we are, a decade later. For reasons only HaShem knows, Dave’s Gone By is still on the radio, still maintaining its unique format, still passing for entertainment.

Many Jews have been guests on Dave’s Gone By. Not as many as I’d like, but still. Fyvush Finkel, Bruce Adler, Shecky Greene, Robby Benson, Gilbert Gottfried, Bonnie Franklin, Joe Franklin, Tovah Feldshuh – with that name, she actually counts as two Jews – Neil Sedaka, Jill Sobule, Theodore Bikel, Oscar Brand, David Bromberg, Sheldon Harnick – the list goes on and on, much as I do in temple.

Most importantly, though, ten years ago I was in that dilapidated little radio station taking part in the very first Dave’s Gone By episode. Before I began doing my weekly Rabbinical Reflections, Dave would have me on his program occasionally to celebrate the Jewish holidays, to offer my thoughts on current events, and to perform the occasional circumcision on his political enemies.

I remember my very first appearance on the show. As a public service for women listening in the audience, I explained the importance of checking yourself for breast cancer. I even demonstrated, squeezing my own man-kneidels to look for lumps. I would have preferred a female volunteer but no one entered the contest, and the last girl I tried that with screamed “rape,” so I made do with what I had.

Since that time in 2002, I have appeared on dozens of Dave’s Gone By episodes conducting interviews, singing, bestowing blessings, and every single time I am grateful to my friend, Dave, for giving me the opportunity to reach his loyal single-digit listenership. Now that he is on this exciting radio station at the University of Northern Colorado, I hope to keep sharing my Rabbinical Reflections for many years to come, offering, as always, a little thought, a little laughter, and a lot of yelling.

That is why I would like to close today’s reflection with a special blessing for Dave and his radio show.

(sings) Baruch atah Duvid Lefkowitz, entertainer, melech of the mic. You make no money but you persevere. You’re the bagel, I’m the shmear. We’re all glad you’re here. Amen.

Happy Anniversary, Duvid. And good luck finding a real job someday.

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York.

Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #045 (9/30/2012): Subway Savagery

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RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #45 (9/30/2012): Subway Savagery

Aired September 29, 2012 on Dave’s Gone By. Youtube: http://youtu.be/5EnyHNhpAwA

Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the week of September 30th, 2012.

When was the last time you gave a rat’s tuchas about a subway advertisement? You’re walking on the platform at 42nd Street or 14th Street, and what do you pass? There’s an ad for a new horror movie that looks horrible. There’s an ad for a new Kevin James film that looks even more horrible than the horror movie. Then you get those ads from the MTA warning you to watch the gap or if you see something, say something. Which is ridiculous, because if you spoke out every time you saw something weird or scary on the subway, you’d never shut up!

But this past week has put the New York subways in the news in a way they haven’t been since those flash mobs had people climbing aboard wearing no pants. How I missed that, I do not know. I keep hoping I’ll see women with no pants on the M-4 bus, but no luck. I’ve seen one or two pantsless men, but that was not a political statement, those were homeless guys getting too friendly with my leg.

Anyhoo, this week, an organization called the American Freedom Defense Initiative won the legal right to put up posters in the New York subway system. In big white letters on a black background, they have this quote: “In any war between the civilized man and the savage, support the civilized man,” unquote. Underneath, in blue letters, it says, “Support Israel.” Under that, in red letters, “Defeat Jihad.”

As you might expect, a firestorm of controversy has greeted this ad campaign, with Arabs freaking out, and Jews who are afraid of Arabs freaking out even more. Now, it’s hard to argue with the basic message: When you have one country that is a friend to the United States and is the only democracy in the middle east, you have to support it. When you have an ideology that is bent on destroying Western civilization through fear, violence and torture, it’s probably a good idea to oppose it.

First, let’s put the quote in context. It originally comes from novelist Ayn Rand, a Jewish Russian who wrote two great and very, very, very, very, very, very long books called “Atlas Shrugged” and “The Fountainhead.” In 1973, Rand was upset about the Yom Kippur War – you know, the one where the Arabs attacked Israel on the holiest day of the year? And she made some seriously anti-Arab remarks that went a lot farther than the 18 words paraphrased in the subway ad. Still, considering the circumstances, her anger and racism were, if not excusable, certainly understandable in context.

And it’s hard to argue with the text of the ad. “Jihad” means religious war. It is the struggle of Muslims against anything remotely threatening to their way of life. Unfortunately, that could be anything from defending the ancient Byzantine Empire to putting a price on Salman Rushdie’s head. Or worse, cutting off Theo Van Gogh’s head.

And let’s not forget that happy little day in September 2001 when Al Qaida decided to teach America a lesson in religious tolerance and brotherhood.

But okay, I am not immune to the subtleties of language. If you call one group savages, and then you say “support Israel,” there is a coded message that over-generalizes. Even though the advertisement doesn’t say all Muslims are savages, there’s still a nasty undertone. It’s like when people say Midwesterners won’t get a joke because it’s too New York – we know what they really mean.

And so, the call has gone out to take the posters down, Arab-American protesters have been arrested for spray-painting over them, twats are tweeting on their twitters that the ad is just throwing gasoline on the fires of racial intolerance from both sides.

How do I feel about the whole thing? Thank you for asking. First of all, I agree with the message of the poster 100 percent, but only IF we take Jihad to mean the darkest, worst part of the Muslim credo. Others have pointed out that “holy war” does not have to be violent, and that an Arab rejecting a ham sandwich is obeying Jihad, just the way a Jew rejecting bacon is obeying Kashrut. Except the Jew has it harder because bacon is soooo good.

The wording of the sign is inflammatory, or at least uncomfortable, especially in the subway. It’s an underground, closed-in space, and if I were standing next to a Muslim next to that sign, I’d feel ooky – just as ooky as I do when I’m on the train and some asshole bellows a verse of “Amazing Grace” hoping people will give him money so he won’t sing the second verse.

There are better places and better ways to make the case for defending Israel, and for keeping our guard up against the Ahmadinejads and the Mullahs – and the Bin Ladens and the Arafats and the small number of Arab Muslims who force us to hate and fear the millions of Muslims who are not savages. Well, except when they’re watching soccer.

If only they would change the sign to read, “Support Israel. Stop Terrorism.” Or, “Support Peace, Ban the Taliban.” Something we can all get behind. In any war between the subtext and the urtext, be careful with both.

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York.

–> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=29327

Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #044 (9/23/2012): Atonement

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RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #44 (9/23/2012): Atonement

Aired September 22, 2012 on Dave’s Gone By.
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0N1WRgt1zc

Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the week of September 23rd, 2012.

Repent! Repent! The end of the world is nigh! Repent!

Just screwing with you. We’ll be around for awhile longer, but it’s always good to take one day out of the year and apologize for all the crap we pull every other day of the year.

Yom Kippur, the day of atonement, is not a get-out-of-gehenna-free card. You don’t confess and magically find yourself absolved and awarded with a Starbucks Gold Card. Like it or not, you are still the same schmucky you. But at least you have taken a few hours to reflect upon your weaknesses, to wonder whom you might have hurt, and to ask God to take a little pity and keep you in the book of life for one more year.

Notice, I put God on the tail end of that sentence. That is no disrespect to you-know-who. And by you-know-who, I mean God. That’s why I said “you know who” `cause I just mentioned him by name, so you’d know who – he’d be fresh in your mind. If I’d meant Buddah, that would have been a surprise, you would not have known who. Or former Rolling Stones bass player Bill Wyman – that would have really come out of left field, you couldn’t possibly have guessed who. Unless you were God, who knows everything. He would know who. And in this case, it would be He. Horton would hear a who, but he wouldn’t know which who he heard. Unless God told him. He would say, “Horton, you’re hearing me. Now go hatch an egg. And tell Maisie she needs to atone.”

Which brings me back to my original point: the day of atonement is for people. We pray to God, we ask God’s forgiveness, we repent our sins. But we do this, not just to assuage the rage of a disappointed God, but to become better people. To realize that our actions have consequences that affect everyone around us. If we lie, if we cheat, if we buy retail, we create unhappiness in other people. Sure, most of them deserve it, but that’s not our call to make.

If you shoplift a dress from Ann Taylor, does HaShem care? Maybe, maybe not – he’s busy. But the security guard in the store who’s paid to watch the merchandise: he cares. The employees who make lower wages because lost income affects the bottom line – they care. The family members who see you in that dress at the holidays – they don’t care; they don’t even know it’s stolen. But they still call you a slut because the dress is too small and the color kind of whorish.

Unlike the Catholics, Jews atone, not because of our fear of the next world, but out of love and respect for the people in this one. Yes, in the Kol Nidre prayer, we ask God’s pardon from promises we couldn’t keep, and yes, we don’t eat for 24 hours – which for Jews is a torture worse than being trapped in an elevator with the Dance Moms. Far be it from me to say that Jews shouldn’t afraid of going to hell – or worse, West Hempstead, but as Jean Paul Sartre proved: hell can be other people. This is the planet we’re on for however long we’re on it, so if we are forced to think twice about how we treat our fellow travelers, maybe they will do the same for us. And that makes a better planet for everybody.

So this Yom Kipper, when it’s 4:30 in the afternoon, and you’re tired, and you’re grumpy, and your breath smells like something that malformed in Jerry Stiller’s tuchas, remember that you’re there to do better, to be better, or at least to try harder.

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York. Lather, rinse, repent.

–> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=29332

Dave’s Gone By Interview (9/22/2012): STEPHEN SCHOCHET & Rabbi Sol Solomon

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Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with author and Hollywood expert Stephen Schochet.

Topics include: Hollywood stories, film, movie stars.

Segment originally aired Sept. 22, 2012 on the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
More information on Rabbi Sol Solomon: http://www.shalomdammit.com