Peter Fitzgerald discusses the political missteps of New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey
Segment aired Aug. 19, 2004, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode
All content (c)2014 TotalTheater Productions. More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
Handyman Yoni Hutenanni expains the importance of caulk.
Segment originally aired July 29, 2004, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode
All content (c)2004 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
Segment aired July 8, 2004, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode.
All content (c)2004 TotalTheater Productions. More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
With Muslim terrorists now staging decapitations for video, let’s imagine a song to go with them.
Segment originally aired June 24, 2004, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode.
All content (c)2004 TotalTheater Productions. More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
LOOK WHAT THEY DONE TO MY HEAD, MA
by David Lefkowitz
Look what they done to my head, ma. Look what they done to my head. Well, they hacked it off with a giant sword And left me lying dead, ma. Look what they done to my head.
They put my face on the `net. They put my face on the `net. We’ve changed regimes, but it don’t seem to make no difference yet, ma. They put my face on the `net.
They made me read the Koran, man. They made me read the Koran. But I crossed my fingers and bit my tongue And cursed the name Allah, ma, So now I’m buried in dung.
Oh, look what they done to my head, ma. Look what they done to my head. Well, they tied it up in a plastic bag before I was even dead, ma. Look what they done to my head.
One days these Muslims will pay, ma One day these Arabs will pay. They’ll pay in blood and burning flesh for what they done today, ma. One day these scumbags will pay.
Oh, look what they done to your son, ma. Look what they done to your son. Well, they slaughtered me and martyred me And now my song is done, ma Look what they done: now I’m gone.
Democracy comes to no man’s land. (Featuring guest voice Joe Salzone)
Segment aired June 17, 2004, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast:
All content (c)2004 TotalTheater Productions. More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
Some recommendations on how Arab terrorists can make their deeds more palatable to the West
Segment features guest voice Jeff Goodman and originally aired May 20, 2004, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode
All content (c)2004 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
Click above to listen to the episode (audio only).
Here is the 67th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on NY’s WGBB-AM, March 1, 2004. More info: davesgoneby.com.
host: Dave Lefkowitz guests: radio personality Joe Salzone and Rabbi Sol Solomon, spiritual leader of Temple Sons of Bitches, Great Neck, NY.
Featuring: Dave chats with radio personality Joe Salzone. Plus: the satirical News Gone By, Dave Goes Off on Newsday & the FCC, Glenn Miller remembered, and Rabbi Sol Solomon reviews The Passion.
00:00:01 SKIT: “The Passion of the Sol” (w/ Rabbi Sol Solomon & Joe Salzone) 00:09:00 DAVE GOES IN: What’s on the show 00:17:00 DAVE GOES OFF: Newsday’s Redesign & Hounding Howard Stern 00:34:00 GUEST: Joe Salzone 01:02:00 NEWS GONE BY: Laden Gotten?; Gay Weddings; Goyishe Fiddler; Fat Pig; Ump Chump; Condom Sale; Chocolate Foam; Crazy Haiti; The Cruelty of the Christ. 01:16:00 DAVE GOES OUT: Glenn Miller tribute
March 1, 2004 Playlist: “Capital Punishment (excerpt)” (George Carlin), “Moonlight Serenade,” “Everybody Loves My Baby” & “Adios” (Glenn Miller).
Segment originally aired Dec. 23, 2004, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode.
All content (c)2004 TotalTheater Productions. More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
(I’M HAVING A) GAY CHRISTMAS
by Peter Fitzgerald (as transcribed by David Lefkowitz)
Oh oh oh!
I’m having a gay Christmas, just my lover and me We’ve got a goose in the oven, and vibrating novelties on the tree. I’m having a gay Christmas! Makes me feel so young. The lights are glowing, the wind is blowing, And the stockings are well-hung.
I’m having a gay Christmas, carolers at the door Each one gets a flavored condom If I can put it on `em, I give `em one more I’m having a gay Christmas, shouting Ho Ho Ho! I sing and dance and unzip my pants Underneath the mistletoe.
Now, too many people are too uptight, And they miss the beauty of a silent night But ask my partner, that’s not how I am When I poke his long, and he smokes my ham.
I’m having a sissy Christmas, full of yuletide cheer I’m greasin’ up my chimney `cause between you and me, Santa’s queer! He’s a bringing a load of presents I’m gonna wear them all And if candy canes leave sticky stains, I’ll return them at the mall.
Now Christmas is a wonderful word The sexiest word I’ve ever heard. It starts with Christ, and ends in ass, And “mm” in between for a great big mass!
I’m having a gay Christmas, just like Jesus did The thought of him kissing Judas makes me want to molest a kid (no!) I’m having a gay Christmas, eggnog by the fire I wax my thighs and fantasize About the Vienna Boys Choir.
Now Christmas is a time of joy For every girl and, especially, boy. And on December 24th, Santa’s pole points north, north, north!
I’m having a gay Christmas, yule log on the tube I’m making my special icing, and basting the goose with k.y. lube I’m having a gay Christmas, fruitcakes filled with rum I shake and bake until I make all ye faithful cum!
A ballad not-so-loosely based on the Mepham High School sodomy trial on Long Island.
Song aired Jan. 19, 2004, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode
All content (c)2004 TotalTheater Productions. More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
THE RECTUM OF EDMUND FITZGERALD
by David Lefkowitz
The story did play on News 12 and Newsday and it filled up the old Nassau Herald How kids from the school were so vicious and cruel To the rectum of Edmund Fitzgerald.
The town of Bellmore lies upon the South Shore On an affluent part of Long Island They pay a high tax just to keep out the blacks In the hopes that their kids won’t grow violent.
Now, one such young boy was his mom’s pride and joy Such a virile and athletic laddie Like others his age, he thought sports the rage And he tried to be just like his daddy.
It felt like a dream when young Ed made the team As a junior varsity halfback But some other players gave him arrogant stares He became their continual laughtrack.
He played right along, and he tried to be strong To show he had no trepidation It gave him the creeps, but these were his peeps And he longed for the team’s validation.
He managed all right until one summer night When the team went to north Pennsylvania As silent as monks, they all rose from their bunks as if gripped by a furious mania.
With nary a sound and no coaches around The older kids pummeled the juvies They guarded the door while the boys licked the floor And then squealed like the guy in the movies.
Although that hurt some, there were worse things to come When the new guys were forced to get naked The quarterback grinned, “Let the hazing begin! If you wanna be one of us, take it!”
The torture began all according to plan With a rhythm like boom-chika-boom-chik “You better not howl, or we’ll puncture your bowel With the rubberized end of a broomstick.”
When that part was fun, they continued the fun Of pine cone and golf ball inserting. The cavities dripped as the soft tissue ripped And the feces and blood began spurting.
The victims were warned they’d be punished and scorned If they told any parents or teachers. But by the next game, they were still hurt and shamed You could see the red stains from the bleachers.
The season was stopped and the scholarships dropped And the town became crazed and divided A few sent regrets, the others—death threats Till lawyers and cops were provided.
The rumors did spread from Rosedale to Riverhead How a team went from scrimmage to Sodom And poor Edmund cried when a splinter was pried From the extra-large width of his bottom.
So now there’s a judge who will go through the sludge Of how innocent boys were imperiled. The legend will spread like the legs of poor Ed and the rectum of Edmund Fitzgerald. The rectum of Edmund Fitzgerald.
Dave imagines a conversation between Woody Allen and his therapist.
Segment originally aired Dec. 1, 2003, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode
All content (c)2003 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
An offensive look at the Secretary of Defense.
Democracy comes to no man’s land. (Featuring guest voice Joe Salzone)
A ballad not-so-loosely based on the Mepham High School sodomy trial on Long Island.