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RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #053 (1/20/2013): Lance Armstrong

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RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #53 (1/20/2013): Lance Armstrong

Aired January 19, 2013 on Dave’s Gone By. Youtube clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ksF769ibSjk&feature=youtu.be

Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the week of January 20th, 2013.

I never understood the appeal of bicycle racing as a spectator sport. Oh sure, it’s fun to pedal a Schwinn through the neighborhood while running errands, looking at the scenery and zipping past poor bastards in cars who have to stop for red lights. It’s healthy exercise uphill, and it’s a mechayah downhill.

Granted, the man who invented bicycle seats must have worked for the Nazis. I ask you: if they can design a chair cushion that makes you feel like you’re floating on a cloud, why can’t they make a bicycle seat that doesn’t mash your testicles halfway up your groin.

But be that as it may, watching people bicycle is about as much fun watching people roller skate. Twelve seconds and you wanna shoot yourself. Thirty seconds and you wanna get on a bicycle and run the skaters over.

So the whole Tour de France mystique is lost on me. Cyclists spend day after day for three weeks riding two thousand miles just to put on a yellow jersey. Sorry, but I can give Jet Blue some money, fly two thousand miles in half a day, and they give me a free headset. No contest.

But I do not deny the skill, athleticism or endurance of those who compete in these races, especially Lance Armstrong, who survived cancer to win the Tour de France for seven consecutive years. (It was testicular cancer, by the way, for which, as I said – I blame the bicycle seat!) Anyhoo, Lance Armstrong represented everything great about athletics. Training, discipline in body and mind, healthy diet, the will to win, grace under pressure and battling back against all odds. He was one of those athletes parents could point to on a cereal box and say, “You could be like him, if you eat your Wheaties.” What we didn’t know is that you had to sprinkle your Wheaties with corticosteroids and substitute the milk with Red Bull.

Now, believe it or not, I’m not categorically against performance-enhancing drugs. Who’s to say what’s a natural additive and what’s going too far? If one guy makes a morning shake out of a special secret recipe of wheat grass, crushed vitamins and horny goat weed, is he getting an unfair leg up on the guy who’s just eating pancakes? And what if – just what if – Lance Armstrong decided to race competitively while he was still recovering from cancer? Not expecting to win, but just to prove something to himself and to the world. So his body is all full of these chemo chemicals that are keeping him alive – and, perhaps, enhancing his performance. Where does therapy stop and doping begin?

I cannot answer these questions. These are questions for doctors, chemists and Ozzy Osbourne. What I can say is that Armstrong’s behavior has been reprehensible. Not only did he lie for years, he discouraged, harangued and even threatened others who wanted to tell the truth. He was a bully, and one of those people who breathe such rarified air, they imagine rules that apply to everyone else don’t apply to them.

Finally, when his back was against the wall – and his tuchas impaled on a banana seat – and there was nothing else to tell besides what we already knew, Armstrong allows himself to be cross-examined in prime time by Oprah Winfrey. Because criminality is so much more palatable when it’s packaged and sold as entertainment. And because for Oprah to get ratings, it’s either this or getting Dr. Phil and Mehmet Oz to french each other.

As for the special itself, Armstrong admitted to some things, denied others, and looked for all the world like someone who’s about to lure you into a scientology booth. One day Christopher Walken will play Armstrong in a movie, and he’ll actually be less creepy than the real thing.

Should we expect remorse? I know that’s big with defense attorneys – “Ooh, he feels really bad, let’s be nice to him.” But Armstrong’s ego is such that he seems almost proud of getting away with cheating as long as he did. Sure he’s sorry – sorry he got caught. Which makes him little different from all the baseball players who turned the 1990s into a home-run derby. They sure gave us a lot of thrills while the commissioner looked the other way. But try telling kids, “Don’t do drugs! Always play fair! Drink your juice!” when their heroes are juicing in a very different way. As for punishment, well, what will all those steroids will do to their bodies when these guys turn 60 or 70 – if they even get there? It’s like a chemical version of “Faust”; one day, you have to pay back the devil. Or Vince McMahon, take your pick.

But I do have a confession to make: I myself, have a problem with `roids. Hemorrhoids, and they’re killing me. Oprah would you like the scoop?

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York.

–> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=29254

Dave’s Gone By Interview (1/19/2013): LOUDON WAINWRIGHT III

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Dave Lefkowitz chats with singer-songwriter Loudon Wainwright III.

Topics include: his career and latest CD, “Older than My Old Man Now.”

Segment originally aired Jan. 19, 2013 on the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Note: Interview segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.

All content (c)2013 TotalTheater Productions.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
More information on Rabbi Sol Solomon: http://www.shalomdammit.com

Dave’s Gone By #408 (1/19/2013): WAIN’S WORLD

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Here is the 408th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio, Jan. 19, 2013. Info: davesgoneby.com.

Featuring: Dave chats with singer-songwriter Loudon Wainwright III. Plus: Rabbi Sol Solomon offers his Rabbinical Reflection Lance Armstrong’s confession, Inside Broadway (The Other Place), and Bob Dylan – Sooner & Later (copyright).

Host: Dave Lefkowitz

Guest: singer-songwriter Loudon Wainwright III

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN
00:12:30 SATURDAY SEGUE – Loudon Wainwright III
00:43:30 INSIDE BROADWAY (news (00:44:00) & The Other Place (01:03:00)
01:14:00 GUEST: Loudon Wainwright III
02:00:00 Sponsors
02:06:00 BOB DYLAN – Sooner & Later (copyright)
02:46:30 RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #53 (Lance Armstrong)
02:59:30 DAVE GOES OUT

Jan. 29, 2013 Playlist: “The Swimming Song” (00:12:30; {BBC Sessions version}), “People in Love” (00:15:30), “Carmine Street” (00:18:30), “No Knees” (00:21:00), “Unhappy Anniversary” (00:23:30), “You Can’t Fail Me Now” (00:26:30), “This Song Don’t Have a Video” (00:30:00), “School Song” (00:32:00), “Dead Skunk” (00:35:00), “the Here and the Now” (01:10:30), “Over the Hill” (01:19:30), “Daughter” (01:32:00), “Liza” (01:35:30), “I Remember Sex” ({w/ Dame Edna} 01:46:00), “Strange Weirdos” (01:53:30), “Pretty Good Day” (03:04:30) (Loudon Wainwright III). “One Normal Night” (00:47:30; The Addams Family (Broadway cast)), “Mixed-Up Confusion” (02:12:00), “Kingsport Town” (02:14:30), “Hero Blues” (02:18:00), “No More Auction Block” (02:19:30), “Corrina, Corrina” (02:22:30), “Rambling Gambling Willie” (02:25:00) & “Honey, Just Allow Me One More Chance” (02:29:00; Bob Dylan). “Google” (02:39:30; Art Paul Schlosser). “Heroes” ({live “Stage” version}, 02:53:00; David Bowie).

Laurie Metcalf and Daniel Stern in The Other Place (photo by Joan Marcus)

Dave’s Gone By Interview (1/12/2013): PETER MARSHALL & Rabbi Sol Solomon

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Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with entertainer and “Hollywood Squares” host Peter Marshall.

Topics include: “Hollywood Squares,” cabaret and yesteryear.

Segment originally aired Jan. 12, 2013 on the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
More information on Rabbi Sol Solomon: http://www.shalomdammit.com

Dave’s Gone By #407 (1/12/2013): CIRCLE GETS THE SQUARE

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Here is the 407th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio Jan. 12, 2013. Info: davesgoneby.com.

Featuring: Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with entertainer Peter Marshall (“Hollywood Squares”) and offers his Rabbinical Reflection on Al Gore selling out to Al Jazeera. Plus: Inside Broadway (Glengarry Glen Ross, The Last Seder, My Name is Asher Lev), Bob Dylan – Sooner & Later, and Saturday Segues (birthdays, fingers).

Host: Dave Lefkowitz

Guest: entertainer Peter Marshall

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN
00:08:30 SATURDAY SEGUE – birthdays
00:35:30 INSIDE BROADWAY (news (00:36:00), Glengarry Glen Ross (00:42:30), My Name is Asher Lev (00:47:30), The Last Seder (00:51:30), “Broadway Musicals – A Jewish Legacy” (00:54:30)
01:06:00 GUEST: Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with Peter Marshall
01:51:00 BOB DYLAN – Sooner & Later
02:27:00 RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #52 – Al Gorezeera
02:33:30 Weather & Friends
02:37:30 SATURDAY SEGUE – Fingers
03:03:30 DAVE GOES OUT

Jan. 12, 2013 Playlist: “Wishing on Telstar” (09:00:00; Susanna Hoffs). “Sway” (00:13:00) & “Ventilator Blues” (00:21:30; The Rolling Stones). “I’m a Band Leader” (00:17:00) & “Golden Birdies” (00:25:00; Captain Beefheart). “Beware of Darkness” (00:18:00; Matthew Sweet & Susanna Hoffs). “Tell Me” (00:26:30; The Bangles). “Hollywood Squares Final Episode” (excerpt; 01:03:30; “Hollywood Squares” w/ Peter Marshall). “And Then She Wrote (Trailer)” (01:39:00; And Then She Wrote w/ Peter Marshall). “Isis” (01:53:30), “North Country Blues” (02:00:00), “Hazel” (02:05:00), “One Too Many Mornings” (02:07:30), “If You See Her Say Hello” (02:10:00), “Something There is About” (02:15:00) & “You’re Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go” (02:19:30; Bob Dylan). “Linger” (02:47:00; The Cranberries). “Different Finger” (02:51:00; Elvis Costello). “Cross Your Fingers” (02:53:00; Laura Marling). “Magic Fingers” (02:55:30; Frank Zappa). “Magic Finger” (02:59:30; James Kochalka). “Powderfinger” (03:06:30; Neil Young).

Ari Brand & Mark Nelson in My Name is Asher Lev

Al Pacino and Bobby Cannavale in Glengarry Glen Ross

Dave’s Gone By Interview (12/29/2012): MICHAEL KANTOR & Rabbi Sol Solomon

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Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with documentary filmmaker and theater expert Michael Kantor (“Broadway: The American Musical,” “Make `em Laugh”).

Topics include: the Jewish influence on Broadway musicals, banjos.

Segment originally aired Dec. 29, 2012 on the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
More information on Rabbi Sol Solomon: http://www.shalomdammit.com

Dave’s Gone By #406 (12/29/2012): WHAT’S UP, DOCU?

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click above to listen to the episode (audio only)

Here is the 406th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio, Dec. 29, 2012. Info: davesgoneby.com.

Featuring: Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with filmmaker Michael Kantor (“Broadway: The American Musical”; “Make `em Laugh”) and offers his Rabbinical Reflection on the year gone by. Plus: Inside Broadway (Jack Klugman), Farewells to Roy Collins and Charles Durning, Bob Dylan – Sooner & Later (namechecks), and Saturday Segues (birthdays, last year’s man).

Host: Dave Lefkowitz

Guest: filmmaker Michael Kantor

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN
00:10:00 SATURDAY SEGUE – birthdays
00:52:30 INSIDE BROADWAY
01:25:00 DAVE SAYS BYE to Ray Collins
01:30:30 Sponsors
01:39:00 GUEST: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews Michael Kantor
02:25:00 BOB DYLAN – Sooner & Later – namechecks
02:58:00 RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #51 – 2012 Farewell
03:07:30 Friends
03:10:00 SATURDAY SEGUE
03:31:30 Weather
03:33:00 DAVE GOES OUT

Dec. 29, 2012 Playlist: “Papa Gene’s Blues” (00:10:00), “Cuddly Toy” (00:14:00), “You Just May Be the One” (00:34:00; The Monkees). “This Little Bird” (00:12:00) & “Sister Morphine” (00:21:30; Marianne Faithfull). “Mr. Radio” (00:16:30; Electric Light Orchestra). “Dancing Barefoot” (00:27:00) & Amerigo (00:36:00; Patti Smith). “Rattled” (00:31:00; The Traveling Wilburys). (01:04:00; Gypsy, 1959 Broadway cast w/ Ethel Merman & Jack Klugman). “Jack Klugman Discusses The Odd Couple (01:15:00; Jack Klugman). “You’re So Vain” (01:19:00; Jack Klugman and Tony Randall). “You Didn’t Try to Call Me” (01:22:00; Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention). “You Can’t Succeed on Broadway” (01:39:00; Spamalot Broadway cast w/ David Hyde Pierce). “It Ain’t Necessarily So” (01:50:30; Porgy and Bess 2012 Broadway cast w/ David Alan Grier). “Edelweiss” (02:16:00; The Sound of Music Broadway cast w/ Theodore Bikel). “Oisgetzaichnet (Out of this World)” (02:20:30; The Zulu and the Zayda Broadway cast w/ Menasha Skulnik). “The Seeker” (02:26:00; The Who). “Coming Up Close” (02:29:30; `til Tuesday). “Like Dylan in the Movies” (02:34:00; Belle & Sebastian). “Yer Blues” (02:38:00; The Beatles). “Song for Bob Dylan” (02:41:00; David Bowie). “Diamonds and Rust” (02:45:00; Joan Baez). “Taking New Bob Dylan” (02:49:30; Loudon Wainwright III). “Who Knows Where the Time Goes?” (03:10:30; Fairport Convention). “Last Year’s Man” (03:15:30; Leonard Cohen). “Another Year’s Gone By” (03:21:30; Hootie & the Blowfish). “What are You Doing New Year’s Eve?” (03:25:30; Vonda Shepard). “New Year’s Eve” (03:35:00; Tom Waits).

Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #050 (12/23/2012): Gun Control

RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #50 (12/23/2012): Gun Control

Aired December 22, 2012 on Dave’s Gone By. Youtube clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7iRX8beuhkU

Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the week of December 23rd, 2012.

Anything can be a weapon. A scissor. A tire iron. A baseball bat. If I hit you in the face with a hardcover copy of Ayn Rand’s “The Fountainhead,” your head will spurt like a fountain. If I drop two pennies off the roof of the Empire State Building, whoever is walking below will lose their cents. You don’t need a gun to hurt someone.

No, I’m not spoiling the plot of the next “Final Destination” movie; I’m offering the motto of the National Rifle Association, the N.R.A. Why ban guns, they say, when they’re just one kind of weapon? Two radio hosts killed a woman by making her drink too much water. Do we ban faucets? Another pair of deejays helped kill a woman by making believe they were the royal family. Do we ban phone calls?

That is the logic the N.R.A. uses to defend guns. Crazy people will always find ways to kill, sometimes with box-cutters on an airplane, sometimes with a loaded gas tank and a 1.2 blood-alcohol level. Guns don’t kill people, they say; people kill people.

The problem as I see it, is that people kill people…with guns. Adam Lanza did not walk into Sandy Hook Elementary School carrying a sharpened broom handle. He didn’t fire off a hundred rounds of ping-pong balls. He had his mother’s guns – three of them. And the N.R.A. says the blame is hers. She should have kept them locked up, safely stored, away from her child. But her child was 20 years old. Which means back when Adam Lanza was sane – presumably – and he turned 18, he was old enough to be shown where the guns were and how to use them. He could have gone to Walmart and gotten his own guns.

And the other cry of the N.R.A. whenever there’s a massacre – which is every couple of weeks in this fakakteh country – well, if one of the good guys had a gun, this wouldn’t have happened. Or the carnage would have been less, because the teacher, or the movie-theater usher, or the flight attendant could whip out a .45 and blast the psycho before he starts running a tally in double digits.

There is some logic to this, if all these pistol-packing good Samaritans have amazing aim, have recent and constant practice, and happen to be just at the wrong place at the right time. I admit, there are times I would love to carry a gun. I also admit that in a dangerous, do-or-die situation, I would reach for the gun, my hand would slip, and I’d shoot myself right in the balls. Just because everyone can own a gun doesn’t mean everyone should own a gun.

What makes me mad about the N.R.A. is their absolute inability to compromise. The Democrats say, “We don’t want to ban guns. We want sensible gun control.” The N.R.A. says, “You can’t ban guns.” The Democrats say, “No, listen. We don’t want to ban guns. We just want more background checks and the banning of semi-automatic weapons.” The N.R.A. says, “You can’t ban guns.” Right-wing Republicans are like autistic children; you can’t reason with them, all you can do is hope to distract them with something shiny.

The second Amendment of the United States Constitution was adopted in 1791. It was created so that people could hunt for food, defend themselves and mainly to protect the former colonies from foreign invasion. If it seems a little silly in 2012 to worry about British redcoats wanting to sleep in your garage, it wasn’t quite so hilarious in late 2001, when you didn’t know when or where the next turban was gonna drop.

So I am not one of those people who thinks only police and the military should have guns. They’re already in power, they don’t need more firepower. It’s perfectly understandable why a rural farmer would want a shotgun, or a Jew carrying merchandise in the diamond district might need a pistol, or a schvartz NFL player in a nightclub might want three colts, a glock and a snub-nose .38. But none of those people needs an AK-47. Nobody needs to fire two dozen uninterrupted rounds unless you’re making Swiss cheese and you’re really pressed for time.

Is it opportunistic of people who are pro-gun control to use a national tragedy for political gain? Sure, just as when Ernest Borgnine died, I lobbied Congress to release the entire “McHale’s Navy” series on Blue-Ray. It was just the right thing to do.

Sensible gun control is also the right thing to do, and it’s a lot smarter than banning midnight movies, elementary schools and high-school cafeterias. Although, banning high-school cafeteria food . . . not the worst idea.

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York.

–> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=29266

Dave’s Gone By #405 (12/22/2012): APOCALYPSE NOT

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click above to listen to the episode (audio only)

Here is the 405th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio, Dec. 22, 2012. Info: davesgoneby.com.

Featuring: Dave celebrates the world surviving Mayan Doomsday with a Saturday Segue on Endtimes. Plus: Inside Broadway, News Gone By, Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection on gun control, Bob Dylan – Sooner & Later (John Wesley Harding 45th anniversary).

Host: Dave Lefkowitz

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN
00:08:00 SATURDAY SEGUE – Endtimes, part 1
00:49:30 Thanks & Sponsors
01:00:00 INSIDE BROADWAY
01:20:30 NEWS GONE BY
01:39:30 RABBI SOL SOLOMON’s RABBINICAL REFLECTION #50 – Gun Control
01:46:30 BOB DYLAN – Sooner & Later (John Wesley Harding 45th Anniversary)
02:25:30 SATURDAY SEGUE – Endtimes, part 2
02:49:30 DAVE SAYS BYE – Larry L. King
02:59:30 Thanks & Weather & Friends
03:05:00 DAVE GOES OUT

Dec. 22, 2012 Playlist: “The Last Night of the World” (09:00; Bruce Cockburn). “End of the World” (00:14:00; Herman’s Hermits). “The End has Begun” (00:17:00; Loudon Wainwright III). “Sweet Apocalypse” (00:21:00; Moby). “End” (Peter Case; 00:25:00). “(I’ll Love You) Till the End of the World” (00:28:30; Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds). “Time Waits for No One” (00:32:30; The Rolling Stones). “It’s Over” (00:39:00; Tom Waits). “Master of the House” (01:15:00; Les Miserables Broadway cast). “Jet Song” (01:24:00; West Side Story; film soundtrack). “Coffee Homeground” (01:32:00; Kate Bush). “John Wesley Harding” (01:50:00) & “As I Walked Out One Morning” (01:53:00; Bob Dylan). “I Dreamed I Saw St. Augustine” (01:56:00; John Doe). “All Along the Watchtower” (01:59:00; Bryan Ferry). “Dear Landlord” (02:02:30; Joan Baez). “I Pity the Poor Immigrant” (02:05:30; Judy Collins). “Wicked Messenger” (02:10:00; The Black Keys). “I’ll Be Your Baby Tonight” (02:13:30; Barb Jungr). “I Found the End” (02:26:00; Broadcast). “It’s Over” (02:28:00; The Smiths). “It’s Over” (02:34:00; Aimee Mann). “Time Out from the World” (02:37:30; Goldfrapp). “The End” (02:42:30; The Doors). “The Galaxy Song” (02:44:30; “Monty Python’s Meaning of Life;” film soundtrack). “Hard Candy Christmas” (02:54:00; “The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas,” film soundtrack). “It’s the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine)” (03:06:30; R.E.M.).

Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #049 (12/16/2012): Molest We Forget

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RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #049 (12/16/2012): Molest We Forget

Aired December 15, 2012 on Dave’s Gone By. Youtube clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OxQnpP0RbMI

Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the week of December 16th, 2012.

Oy! Happy end of Chanukah, everybody. Why do I say that with such resignation and dispiritedness? Because just when we need to be showing the world that Jews take a higher moral ground . . . Just when we need to be reminding Christians that we’re not evil, we didn’t kill Jesus, we belong in the land of Israel because we earned and deserve it . . . Just when we should show off that Jews are a model of the three L’s: Learning, Law and Lokshen kugel – the Orthodox community of Williamsburg Brooklyn displays the worst of the three I’s: Inhumanity, Insularity and I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with them.

By now you’ve no doubt heard about Rabbi Nechemya Weberman – a Jew, unfortunately, who was convicted of repeated sexual abuse of a young girl. He’s facing 25 years in the slammer for making this shayna maydel act out porn films for him, give him oral sex, and buy things for him retail. And this all started when she was just twelve years old. My God, he used to burn her stomach with a cigarette lighter and then tell her to soothe it with peanut butter when she got home. Peanut butter! I mean, almond butter I understand, but peanut butter?!

I’m making jokes about all this because the truth is so goddamn horrible all you can do is laugh. This monster turned the girl’s parents against her and threatened to toss the whole family out of the religious order if she dared to come forward with her stories. It wasn’t until she switched to a less religious school and started opening up to teachers and counselors there that the truth came out – because the truth always comes out – if not in this world, then the next. If some sect is so tight-knit that a leader can get away with sexual abuse until the day he days, you can bet when he gets to the gates of heaven, Elijah’s up there going, “So, did you observe the Sabbath?”
“Oh yes, every week.”
“Did you give tzedakah to the poor?”
“Absolutely. And I didn’t even do it for the tax deduction, I really meant it!”
“Did you keep all the kosher laws?”
“Are you kidding? I waited ten hours between having meat and milk – not six, ten!”
“Well, Rabbi, I see no reason not to open these gates and let you into paradise. Welcome to – wait a second. Did you make 14-year-old girls masturbate you while you watched Amy Irving in “Yentl?”
“Well, I, uh – ”
“Did you make a teenage boy eat your shmekel and then warn him that if he tattled on you, God would throw him into the fires of hell?”
“Well, I, uh – ”
“Rabbi, you might wanna know, that boy was up here 30 years ago. `Cause he killed himself when he was 17. Good news, though – he’s having a fantastic time. He’s up on cloud nine playing X-box with Anne Frank. You however . . . I hope you brought sunscreen.”

It should not take years or lifetimes to expose revolting behavior like this to the light. Coverups are for dark circles under the eyes, not dark blotches on the soul. And just when you thought the story of Rabbi Weberman couldn’t get any worse, it gets worse. Another Rabbi, Nachum Rosenberg – who probably will be going to heaven, by the way – Rabbi Rosenberg is a longtime advocate for speaking out against abusers. He’s been an oasis for girls and boys who have been subjected to the terrors of sexual assault and the even greater horrors of psychological suppression. He’s been begging the Satmer community to stop sheltering the guilty, stop keeping the laws of America from touching – you should pardon the pun – from penetrating – you should pardon the pun – from affecting this insular Satmer sect.

But no good deed goes unpunished. On his outspoken blog, Rabbi Rosenberg accused the owner of a local fish market of abusing young boys. Now, this may or may not be true, and because this community resists legitimate investigations, finding out the truth can be harder than catching a squid in a butter tank. But one day the Rabbi is strolling through his neighborhood when the son of the fishmarket owner comes up to him. He’s holding a jar of liquid which turns out to be bleach – tosses the bleach in the Rabbi’s face and runs away. Had he not washed his eyes very quickly after the incident, the Rebbe would have gone blind. His shirts would have been really clean but his vision not so good.

Now, because this is the son of the accused, and everything on both sides is just allegation at this point, I will reserve judgment on the particulars of this incident. However, it serves as an object lesson on what happens when you spend years sweeping landmines under the rug. Eventually they start going off in every possible direction, hurting the innocent, the guilty and the just-plain fishy.

And it’s happening in this case because these tight cults want to do everything in-house. No need for police intervention, no need to wash dirty tallises in public; they can monitor everything and keep the outside world out. But do they self-govern? Yes, exactly the way the Catholic church handles the scandals. Got a pedophile priest? Push him from parish to parish. Exactly the way an American president reacts to a sexual boo-boo or a military blunder – deny, discredit, dismiss. That’s way too much alliteration for one paragraph, and way, way too much lying and ducking responsibility on the part of people who should know better.

How sad that thanks to Rabbi Weberman, Rabbis will now be lumped in the same pile as pervo priests – even though, one hopes, and prays, the rotten apples make up just a teeny percentage of Orthodox orchard.

That said, when it comes to sexual misconduct in our community, it’s obvious this is just the tip of the iceberg. And the Goldberg. And the Kleinberg. The Satmers, and every other sect, when dealing with sex, need to be diligent and transparent and not make excuses and exits for evil.

This is gonna get much bigger and uglier before it gets better. So we have to urge the victims don’t be intimidated. Don’t be brainwashed or shouted down. You have to stick it out, because if you don’t, some Rabbi’s gonna stick it out – and in.

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York.

—> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=29271