RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #129 (7/12/2015): With a Little Help
aired July 11, 2015 on Dave’s Gone By. Youtube clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AbnngK8Kmws
RABBI SOL: Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon, the founder and spiritual leader of Temple Sons of Bitches.
DAVE: And this is Dave Lefkowitz, host of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio show –
RABBI SOL: with a Rabbinical Reflection for the week of July 12th, 2015. Take it away, Dave.
DAVE: Those of you who have seen Rabbi Sol onstage know that he loves music. It doesn’t always love him back, but the Rebbe feels that music and lyrics –
RABBI SOL: And a well-placed trombone solo –
DAVE: The combination of all those musical elements can say more in three minutes than a dozen speeches.
RABBI SOL: Or even a baker’s dozen, which is 13, and a nice deal, since you’re paying for 12, and they throw in an extra one for no charge. They should do that with condoms. Anyhoo, because music is so potent, songwriters are obligated to write lyrics that say something. Not just, “Ooh, I wanna shtup you,” or “Ooh, why did you stop shtupping me?”, or “Ooh, why are you shtupping my best friend?” or, if it’s a country song, “I love my truck.”
DAVE: And songs can also be cryptic, or indirect, with words that convey multiple meanings. Every tune is a byzantine Rorschach test for the listener.
RABBI SOL: Boy, doesn’t that sound like fun? My job as Rabbi is to help guide you, my listeners and parishioners, through the truth of these songs. The subtleties, the answers, the keys to their changing meaning and the meaning to their changing keys. I also chastise the songwriters if they’re being lazy or prurient or Michael Bolton.
DAVE: To that end, Rabbi Sol has volunteered to deconstruct a popular song, line by line, and offer his commentary. You may not agree with his interpretations, but as the Rabbi says:
RABBI SOL: Who the hell are you? Write your own Talmud.
DAVE: Today’s song is a classic by The Beatles. Written by Lennon and McCartney and sung by Ringo on their “Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band” record.
RABBI SOL: A concept album that pretty much runs out of concept after the first two songs.
DAVE: Nevertheless, “With a Little Help from My Friends” remains among the catchiest and most enduring of The Beatles’ pop hits. But does it stand up under the Rabbi’s scrutiny?
RABBI SOL: I dunno, does it?
DAVE: Let’s find out. I’m gonna sing “With a Little Help from My Friends,” and Rabbi Sol will interrupt when he has something to say. Or even when he doesn’t.
RABBI SOL: Wait a minute. You’re gonna sing? You’ll do more damage to The Beatles than Yoko!
DAVE: Very funny, Rabbi.
RABBI SOL: You’re telling me! I saw you in a nightclub once where you promised to sing an entire album by the Beatles. You asked for audience requests. Everybody said, “Help!”
DAVE: All right, all right. Are you ready?
RABBI SOL: Am I ever?
DAVE: This is “With a Little Help from My Friends” . . . and from Rabbi Sol.
(play song with commentary)
DAVE: “What would you think if I sang out of tune?”
RABBI SOL: I’d think, “why are you singing? What, do you wanna torture me?”
DAVE: “Would you stand up and walk out on me?”
RABBI SOL: No, I would probably stay until the end of the song; I would be polite. But I would not be buying the CD.
DAVE: “Lend me your ears, and I’ll sing you a song.”
RABBI SOL: You just told me you sing out of key. Why are you gonna sing me a song?
DAVE: “And I’ll try not to sing out of key.”
RABBI SOL: Oh, you’re gonna try. Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you so much for your mercy! I’m gonna try not to vomit in my mouth.
DAVE: “Oh, I’ll get by with a little help from my friends.”
RABBI SOL: Ah, don’t we all?
DAVE: “Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends.”
RABBI SOL: You must live in Colorado.
DAVE: “Mm, gonna try with a little help from my friends.”
RABBI SOL: Yeah, try harder.
DAVE: “What do I do when my love is away?”
RABBI SOL: Flirt with teenage girls on Facebook?
DAVE: “Does it worry you to be alone?”
RABBI SOL: Worry me? I love being alone! I have 21-and-a-half children; I’m never alone!
DAVE: “How do I feel by the end of the day?”
RABBI SOL: How do you feel by the end of the day? Obviously, not exhausted by singing lessons.
DAVE: “Are you sad because you’re on your own? No, I get by with a little help from my friends.”
RABBI SOL: Maybe you need some more help.
DAVE: “Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends.”
RABBI SOL: So, basically, your friends are enablers?”
DAVE: “Mm, gonna try with a little help from my friends.”
RABBI SOL: I really hope they’re helping.
DAVE: “Do you need anybody?”
RABBI SOL: Yes, I need a roofer.
DAVE: “I need somebody to love. Could it be anybody?”
RABBI SOL: Well, it’s carpentry work, so I would prefer Irish.
DAVE: “I want somebody to love.”
RABBI SOL: Yes, you and me both. Natalie Portman, are you listening? And do you charge by the hour?
DAVE: “Would you believe in a love at first sight?”
RABBI SOL: Yes! Me and a pastrami sandwich!
DAVE: “Yes, I’m certain that it happens all the time. What do you see when you turn out the light?”
RABBI SOL: When I turn out the light, it’s dark. I don’t see anything. What are you, a moron?
DAVE: “I can’t tell you but I know it’s mine.”
RABBI SOL: I don’t know what’s yours but don’t be touching it in the dark. That’s just perverse.
DAVE: “Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends.”
RABBI SOL: Oy, again with the friends.
DAVE: “Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends.”
RABBI SOL: Again with the high? Have you tried edibles?
DAVE: “Yes, gonna try with a little help from my friends.”
RABBI SOL: Keep trying.
DAVE: “Do you need anybody?”
RABBI SOL: I need a minyan this Friday night.
DAVE: “I just need someone to love. Could it be anybody?”
RABBI SOL: We’ll take men, women, dogs. Doesn’t really matter.
DAVE: “I want somebody to love. Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends.”
RABBI SOL: You need a lotta help, buddy.
DAVE: “Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends.”
RABBI SOL: I get chai with a little help from my friends! Heh heh.
DAVE: “Yes, gonna try with a little help from my friends. With a little help from my friends. With a little help from my friends.”
RABBI SOL: So, nu, where are these friends who are supposed to show up already?
DAVE: “With a little help from my friends.”
RABBI SOL: Oy, I need a lotta help from my iTunes if it’s playing this shit.
(song ends)
RABBI SOL: Well, that was painful. But I hope you all learned something about not taking songs for granted. The composers are trying to tell you something, so it’s important to listen, digest, and make up your own mind. Or make up your own lyrics. (sings, “There’s a bathroom on the right…”) Speaking of which . . .
DAVE: Oh dear, it’s the Rabbi’s private time. With his privates. So this has been a Rabbinical Reflection with me, Dave Lefkowitz. (sings) Her majesty’s a pretty nice girl, but she doesn’t have a lot to say.”
RABBI SOL: Count yourself lucky. I got a queen at home; she never shuts up! Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York. and ani, Rabbi Sol Solomon
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In July 2014, legendary Australian TV personality Rolf Harris was sentenced to 69 months in prison for molesting numerous under-aged women over the course of two decades. Let’s hear his song, shall we?
