Category: ARCHIVES – Songs

Here are the original songs performed on Dave’s Gone By over the years. Enjoy!

SONG: Stupid Pupil

click above for song with lyrics (video file of audio content)
click above to listen (audio only)

SONG: Stupid Pupil

(c)2024 David Lefkowitz

(sung to the tune of Neil Sedaka and Howard Greenfield’s “Stupid Cupid”)

Stupid Pupil you’re a real disgrace
You don’t contribute; you just take up space
You go to college on your parents’ dime
But you ain’t learnin’, you’re just wastin’ time.
Hey hey, brainless punk
Stupid Pupil, get ready to flunk

Can’t do your homework and you can’t think straight
Too busy watching TikTok while you masturbate
Sitting through classes with your earbuds in
Looking so dead they call your next of kin
Boo-hoo, throw your fit
Stupid Pupil, your pronoun is “it.”

You mixed-up little twerp, with your protest sign upheld
But you can’t read or write, so the words are all misspelled

You think you’re curing social-justice ills
But meanwhile mom and dad are paying all your bills
You’re chugging Red Bull and you’re vaping weed
the only things you learn are from your Twitter feed
You don’t work, you don’t pay rent
Stupid Pupil, come out of your tent

Your hair is greasy and your armpits stink
You think that other people really care what you think
And if you graduate, then you’ll be through
`Cause you’ll be serving burgers to the likes of you
Hey hey, don’t you see
You just crapped on your Bachelor’s Degree

Hey hey, higher ed
Stupid Pupil, I wish you were dead.

SONGS – List & Links

Hi folks! Here are audio archives and written lyrics of original songs performed on DAVE’S GONE BY.
All material is copyright protected by the author, as noted.

Captain Liflander’s War Madrigal
(5/3/03) Dave unearths a patriotic war song from the not-so-good-old days.
Listen / Full Episode
Cover’d with Crap
(3/16/03) Dave sings a delightfully repugnant sea shanty.
Listen / Full Episode
Dayenu 2003
(4/13/03): Rabbi Sol Solomon sings a Purim song about the resilience of the Jews.
Listen / Full Episode
Deep in the Heart of Dallas
(7/9/16): Dave sings a socio-political ditty.
Listen / Full Episode
A Dingo Ate My Baby
(1/26/03) Dave goes down under to sing of a tasty tragedy.
Listen / Full Episode
Don’t Mess with Us
(3/16/03): Rabbi Sol Solomon sings a Purim song about the resilience of the Jews.
Listen / Full Episode
Enema Blues
(1/19/03): Joined by Scott Rodolitz, Dave Lefkowitz sings the Fisch-Heads song, “Enema Blues.”
Listen / Full Episode
(I’m Having a) Gay Christmas
(12/23/04): Gay icon Peter Fitzgerald sings a Yuletide ditty.
Listen / Full Episode
I’m Too Sexy (For My Prostate
(9/2/17): The medical complaints of…who else? Rabbi Sol Solomon
Listen / Full Episode
Is it Good for the Jews?
(12/9/04): Rabbi Sol Solomon asks an age-old question in song.
Listen / Full Episode
It’s a Stiff
(12/8/03): A holiday ditty based on the true story of a woman who disposed of her unwanted infant in a not-so-Christmassy way.
Listen / Full Episode
Jeopardy Ken
(7/22/04): A song of tribute to Jeopardy champion Ken Jennings.
Listen / Full Episode
Jerree
(8/26/17): A plea from one of Jerry’s Kids.
Listen
Joey, the Spastic Kangaroo
(1/26/03): Dave goes down under to relate the tale of a mentally retarded marsupial.
Listen / Full Episode
Look What They Done to My Head
(6/24/04): With Muslim terrorists now staging decapitations for video, let’s imagine a song to go with them.
Listen / Full Episode
Makin’ Poopies
(11/4/04): A song celebrating the joys of relief.
Listen / Full Episode
M-O-T-H-E-R
(5/11/03): Dave sings a Mother’s Day tribute to moms, acronymically.
Listen / Full Episode
My Doggy’s Christmas Gift
(12/30/04): A holiday song to warm the cockles of pet lovers’ hearts everywhere.
Listen / Full Episode
Nirvanity
(12/1/02): Dave sings about the merchandising of Kurt Cobain.
Listen / Full Episode
Oh, Dat Ben!
(11/14/15): Dave found this beautiful, spiritual hymn sung by presidential candidate Ben Carson. Or at least about him.
Listen / Full Episode
The Rectum of Edmund Fitzgerald
(1/19/04): A ballad not-so-loosely based on the Mepham High School sodomy trial on Long Island.
Listen / Full Episode
Santasia
(12/23/04): A deeply warped and perverted take on “The Night Before Christmas,” for your holiday pleasure.
Listen / Full Episode
Seamus, the Urine Man
(3/16/03): Recently back from Dublin, Dave sings of his encounter with an Irish legend.
Listen / Full Episode
Sniper’s Lullaby
(10/27/02): A song, to the tune of “Hobo’s Lullaby,” that celebrates the capture of the Beltway Snipers
Listen / Full Episode
Stupid Pupil
(5/25/2024): A toast to the college graduates of 2024
Listen
Take Your Underoos Down (The Rolf Harris Song)
(7/19/14): In July 2014, legendary Australian TV personality Rolf Harris was sentenced to 69 months in prison for molesting numerous under-aged women over the course of two decades. Let’s hear his song, shall we?
Listen / Full Episode
Three Nights Before Christmas (2002)
(12/22/02): Dave recites a topical holiday poem.
Listen / Full Episode
Trayvon
(7/20/13): A song about the Trayvon Martin/George Zimmerman confrontation and trial.
Listen / Full Episode
The Twelve Complaints of Christmas
(12/22/02): Rabbi Sol Solomon sings a crabby holiday classic.
Listen / Full Episode
Twelve Months of Dave’s Gone By
(12/22/02): Dave sings a holiday carol for his radio show.
Listen / Full Episode
Undies
(8/24/13): At last, Joey Eugene Gallegos, the Greeley Underwear Bandit, has been apprehended, and here is his song.
Listen / Full Episode
We Killed Santa Claus
(12/23/04): A humbuggy holiday carol.
Listen / Full Episode
When Bushie Goes Marching In
(3/23/03): Dave’s rah-rah ballad to mark the start of the war in Iraq.
Listen / Full Episode

SONG: Mr. Poodangles

click above to listen (video file of audio track)
click above to listen (audio only)

A ballad about a man in distress.

Song scheduled to air April 22, 2023, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” video podcast program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

All content (c)2023 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

MR. POODANGLES

(Note: Sung to melody of Jerry Jeff Walker’s “Mr. Bojangles”)

I met a man, Poodangles, in a portajohn
And he was in pain
He said that he’d been sittin’ there all afternoon
Dead-tired from the strain

He started to cry
I asked him why
And then he explained

“When I was young so long ago, I ate some beef
That stuck in my gut,
And ever since I’ve been backed up with no relief
it’s ruptured my butt.”

The poor man did shout,
“It’s half in, half out.
And my anus won’t shut.”

Mr. Poodangles, Mr. Poodangles, Mr. Poodangles:
Squeeze.

He said he spent ten thousand bucks on Dulcolax
and all kinds of lube
But still he’s got a wad of turd that won’t go back
or drop from his tube

Lamenting his trials
He kneels on the tiles
Then he shows me his piles

Mr. Poodangles, Mr. Poodangles, Mr. Poodangles:
Pinch.

The last time I saw `dangles he was skin and bones
but still on the bowl 
Sore and sad and bleedin’ bad and all alone
with his unwholesome hole

And yet he still pushed
On his mush
But it clung to his tush

They tell me Poo was buried in the portaloo
His final request
They sent him off with flowers and a Charmin roll
And all the towels he messed

And when the earth dropped
Everyone stopped…
Did they hear a “plop”?

Mr. Poodangles. Mr. Poodangles. Mr. Poodangles.
Rest.

(c)2023 David Lefkowitz

Dave’s Gone By Song: HELLO COVID (A Letter from Cramps)

Dave Lefkowitz sings the song, “Hello Covid.”

click above to listen to the song (audio only)
click above for a video file of the song.

(with apologies to Ponchielli and Allan Sherman)

Segment airs Aug. 29, 2020, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program/podcast hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.

All content (c)2020 TotalTheater Productions. “Hello Covid” (c)2020 David Lefkowitz.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

Dave’s Gone By Song (4/21/2018): CHESTER’S GAY

A coming-out song about things going in.

Note: contains adult themes.

Song airs March 17, 2018, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations.  For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.

All content (c)2018 TotalTheater Productions.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
Download video file of audio content

Dave’s Gone By Song (3/17/2018): KISS ME, I’M IRISH

A song for the Irishman in all of us.

Note: contains profanity and adult themes.

Song airs March 17, 2018, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.

All content (c)2018 TotalTheater Productions.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
Download video file of audio content

Dave’s Gone By Song (2/26/2018):OFF COLOUR

A song for, and about, young and old. Sung to the melody of Donovan’s “Colours.”

Song airs March 3, 2018, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.

All content (c)2018 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
Download video file of audio content

Dave’s Gone By Song (2/16/2018): AR-15

Expelled from his high school, Nikolas Cruz returned on Valentine’s Day, 2018, to shoot 32 people, killing 17. Here’s his song.

Song scheduled to air Feb. 17, 2018, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast. All content

(c)2017 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
download video file of audio content

Dave’s Gone By Song (8/27/2017): I’M TOO SEXY (FOR MY PROSTATE)

Sung by Rabbi Sol Solomon to the melody of Right Said Fred’s “I’m Too Sexy.”
Song aired Sept. 2, 2017, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.
All content (c)2017 TotalTheater Productions.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
More information on Rabbi Sol Solomon: www.shalomdammit.com

Dave’s Gone By Song (8/26/2017): JERREE

A plea from one of Jerry’s Kids.

Song scheduled to air Aug. 26, 2017, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.

All content (c)2017 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
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