ARCHIVES – Songs – Page 2

Dave’s Gone By Song (7/16/2025): THE PERVERT’S SONG (As Rears Go By)

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THE PERVERT’S SONG (As Rears Go By)

Dave sings the parody song, “The Pervert’s Song (As Rears Go By),” based on Mick Jagger and Keith Richards’s “As Tears Go By.”

This segment aired July 19, 2025 as part of the 991st “Dave’s Gone By” video podcast program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz. Full episodes also available on youtube, Facebook (davesgoneby), and on DavesGoneBy.com.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

SONG: The Pervert’s Song (As Rears Go By) (parody) (sung to the music of Mick Jagger and Keith Richards’s “As Tears Go By”) It is near-evening of the day I come to watch the children play How it makes me pant and drool To hear the words “middle school” I grab my crotch as rears go by With voices high and eyes that shine They’re just so sexy when they’re nine Seeing them so pure and fresh Makes me crave their creamy flesh I rub my crotch as rears go by Oh, the things that I would do If the age of consent were two I spurt a splotch as rears go by It’s time I came up with a plan That’s why I bought a small white van When you see me draw the drapes You’ll know I’m committing rapes I won’t just watch as rears go by. (c)2025 David Lefkowitz

SONG: Thumb in My Bum

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Thumb in My Bum

(Sung to the music of Mick Jagger and Keith Richards’s “Under My Thumb”)

Thumb in my bum
Feels good when you wriggle your wrist
Thumb in my bum
And a forefinger but not your whole fist

It’s down in me, yes it is
The way you do me in my hole
Down in me
It makes me cum
A thumb in my bum

Thumb in my bum
And a rockin’ motion are all that I need
Thumb in my bum
With a fingernail that won’t make me bleed

It’s down in me, oh yeah
Take command of my prostate gland
Down in me
It makes me hum
A thumb in my bum

(Take it easy baby)

Thumb in my bum
Which you do with such grit and aplomb
Thumb in my bum
I’m sorry if I shit in your palm

It’s down in me, yes it is,
The way you fiddle with a digital diddle
Down in me
Pull out that plum
A thumb in my bum

It’s down in me, oh yeah.
A super-duper pooper scooper
Down in me
Until I’m numb
From a thumb in my bum.

Thumb in my bum
It loosens places I used to clench
Thumb in my bum
It’s so much fun if you don’t mind the stench

It’s down in me, that’s what I said,
A brown-eyed wink when you hit the stink
Down in me
Beatin’ like a drum
A thumb in my bum!

(Take it easy, babe,
Make it greasy, babe…)

–> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=126932

–> https://youtu.be/qdOtC1B_-OE

SONG: Stupid Pupil

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SONG: Stupid Pupil

(sung to the tune of Neil Sedaka and Howard Greenfield’s “Stupid Cupid”)

Stupid Pupil you’re a real disgrace
You don’t contribute; you just take up space
You go to college on your parents’ dime
But you ain’t learnin’, you’re just wastin’ time.
Hey hey, brainless punk
Stupid Pupil, get ready to flunk

Can’t do your homework and you can’t think straight
Too busy watching TikTok while you masturbate
Sitting through classes with your earbuds in
Looking so dead they call your next of kin
Boo-hoo, throw your fit
Stupid Pupil, your pronoun is “it.”

You mixed-up little twerp, with your protest sign upheld
But you can’t read or write, so the words are all misspelled

You think you’re curing social-justice ills
But meanwhile mom and dad are paying all your bills
You’re chugging Red Bull and you’re vaping weed
the only things you learn are from your Twitter feed
You don’t work, you don’t pay rent
Stupid Pupil, come out of your tent

Your hair is greasy and your armpits stink
You think that other people really care what you think
And if you graduate, then you’ll be through
`Cause you’ll be serving burgers to the likes of you
Hey hey, don’t you see
You just crapped on your Bachelor’s Degree

Hey hey, higher ed
Stupid Pupil, I wish you were dead.

SONG: Mr. Poodangles

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A ballad about a man in distress.

Song scheduled to air April 22, 2023, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” video podcast program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

All content (c)2023 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

MR. POODANGLES

(Note: Sung to melody of Jerry Jeff Walker’s “Mr. Bojangles”)

I met a man, Poodangles, in a portajohn
And he was in pain
He said that he’d been sittin’ there all afternoon
Dead-tired from the strain

He started to cry
I asked him why
And then he explained

“When I was young so long ago, I ate some beef
That stuck in my gut,
And ever since I’ve been backed up with no relief
it’s ruptured my butt.”  The poor man did shout,
“It’s half in, half out.
And my anus won’t shut.”

Mr. Poodangles, Mr. Poodangles, Mr. Poodangles:
Squeeze.

He said he spent ten thousand bucks on Dulcolax
and all kinds of lube
But still he’s got a wad of turd that won’t go back
or drop from his tube

Lamenting his trials
He kneels on the tiles
Then he shows me his piles

Mr. Poodangles, Mr. Poodangles, Mr. Poodangles:
Pinch.

The last time I saw `dangles he was skin and bones
but still on the bowl
Sore and sad and bleedin’ bad and all alone
with his unwholesome hole

And yet he still pushed
On his mush
But it clung to his tush

They tell me Poo was buried in the portaloo
His final request
They sent him off with flowers and a Charmin roll
And all the towels he messed

And when the earth dropped
Everyone stopped…
Did they hear a “plop”?

Mr. Poodangles. Mr. Poodangles. Mr. Poodangles.
Rest.

Dave’s Gone By Song: HELLO COVID (A Letter from Cramps)

Dave Lefkowitz sings the song, “Hello Covid.”

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(with apologies to Ponchielli and Allan Sherman)

Segment airs Aug. 29, 2020, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program/podcast hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

Dave’s Gone By Song (4/21/2018): CHESTER’S GAY

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A coming-out song about things going in.

Note: contains adult themes.

Song airs March 17, 2018, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
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Chester’s Gay

(sung to the melody of John Lennon and Paul McCartney’s “Yesterday”)

Chester’s gay

Came out to his parents yesterday

Now he needs a place to hide away

They can’t believe that Chester’s gay

They can’t see

he’s been hiding objects anally

And removing them quite painfully

Aw, Chester’s gay as a cucumber tree

He’ll go out to bars,

and he’ll throw the night away

Then he’ll sit in cars and he’ll blow

Because he’s gay, (gay gay gay)

Chester’s gay

And I don’t just mean he’s gay for pay

He’s a donut puncher all the way

Oh, why did Chester turn that way?

Mom and dad,

They don’t want to see their son as bad

But their Christian faith is ironclad

So now they’re feeling oh so sad.

Chester’s queer

He puts massive objects in his rear

Too bad mom and dad are so severe

`cause it’s so clear that Chester’s gay.

Mm hmm hmm hmm

Chester’s gay.

Dave’s Gone By Song (3/17/2018): KISS ME, I’M IRISH

A song for the Irishman in all of us.

Note: contains profanity and adult themes.

Song airs March 17, 2018, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
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Dave’s Gone By Song (2/26/2018): OFF COLOUR

A song for, and about, young and old. Sung to the melody of Donovan’s “Colours.”

Song airs March 3, 2018, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

All content (c)2018 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

Dave’s Gone By Song (2/16/2018): AR-15

Expelled from his high school, Nikolas Cruz returned on Valentine’s Day, 2018, to shoot 32 people, killing 17. Here’s his song.

Song scheduled to air Feb. 17, 2018, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

(c)2017 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
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Dave’s Gone By Song (8/27/2017): I’M TOO SEXY (FOR MY PROSTATE)

Sung by Rabbi Sol Solomon to the melody of Right Said Fred’s “I’m Too Sexy.”
Song aired Sept. 2, 2017, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
More information on Rabbi Sol Solomon: www.shalomdammit.com