Glen Campbell raises a glass too many.
This segment first aired Dec. 1, 2003 on the “Dave’s Gone By” program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz. Full episodes also available on youtube, Facebook (davesgoneby), Spotify, and on DavesGoneBy.com.
All content (c)2003 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
PHOENIX ENVY
(Lyrics: David Lefkowitz. Music: Jimmy Webb’s “By the Time I Get to Phoenix”)
(spoken in a slur) Let go o’ me! Let go o’ me!
By the time I get to Phoenix, I’ll be weavin’
Goin’ 80 miles an hour, maybe more
I’ll smash that lame Toyota with my Beemer
If there’s damage, that’s what royalties are for
By the time the police find me, I’ll be plastered
I’ll ramble on and on and on and on and on just like a kook
I’ll kick and fight those law-enforcement bastards
And fill their breathalyzer up with puke
By the time I get to prison, I’ll be sleepin’
I’ll be dreamin’ of how big I used to be
My son will pay my bail, and he’ll be weepin’
I’ll say, “Daddy’s gonna fight this! Wait and see.
This is how most country music comes to be
Let’s go home and talk this over, you and me
(hiccups) Wait, you go. That bar is open until three.”
©2003 David Lefkowitz
