Sung by Rabbi Sol Solomon to the melody of Right Said Fred’s “I’m Too Sexy.”
Song aired Sept. 2, 2017, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
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I’M TOO SEXY (FOR MY PROSTATE)
(sung to the melody of “I’m Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred’s Fred Fairbrass, Richard Fairbrass, and Rob Manzoli)
“I’m too Jewish to be healthy
Too Jewish to be healthy
And damn,
I’m not even wealthy.”
I’m too sexy for my prostate
Too sexy for my prostate
It hurts
It hurts
IT HURTS
I’m too hot for high blood pressure
Too hot for high blood pressure
But do I
have it?
Yessir.
I’m too cute to have arthritis
Too cute to have arthritis
And chronic
Bursitis
I’m a Rabbi with a distended spleen
And I moan in discomfort at the doctor
Yeah, at the doctor
At the doctor
Who’s not even on my HMO (the bastard!)
I’m too sexy for glaucoma
Too sexy for glaucoma
And yet
I’ve got
Glaucoma
I’m too sexy for skin cancer
Too sexy for skin cancer
And yet
There’s me-
lanoma
I got GERD, which is a reflux disease
And I suffer burning diarrhea
Yeah, diarrhea
Diarrhea
Yeah I shake my aching tush with diarrhea
I’m too sensual for strep
Too sensual for strep
But do I
Have it?
Yep.
I got gout, and my foot’s turning green
And I’m paying extra for a CAT scan
Yeah, a CAT scan
Oy, a CAT scan
I’m gonna take another turn under the CAT scan.
Still, my doctor says I’m fine
The doctor says I’m fine
I say, the quack
Is lyin’
Every day I’m feeling worse
My body is a curse
You’ll find me lying in Baron Hirsch
I’m too Jewish to survive!
©2017 David Lefkowitz & Rabbi Sol Solomon