Dave sings a holiday carol for his show, “Twelve Months of Dave’s Gone By”
Segment originally aired Dec. 22, 2002, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode.
All content (c)2002 TotalTheater Productions. More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
Rabbi Sol Solomon sings his crabby holiday classic, “The Twelve Complaints of Christmas.”
Segment originally aired Dec. 22, 2002, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode.
All content (c)2002 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
Dave sings “The Twelve Nights of Dave’s Gone By” (originally titled “Three Nights Before Christmas)
Segment originally aired Dec. 22, 2002, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode.
All content (c)2002 TotalTheater Productions. More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
THREE NIGHTS BEFORE CHRISTMAS
by David Lefkowitz
On the first night of Dave’s Gone By, Dave gave to thee: News Gone By and the World Weird Web about Shooby (shadobalabashraw)
On the second night of Dave’s Gone By, Dave gave to thee: A tirade about smoking Sound effects and choking At 11 to midnight on GBB.
On the third night of Dave’s Gone By, Dave gave to thee: The Puff Sullivan Letter Angry LIPA guy And a critique of Say Goodnight, Gracie.
On the fourth night of Dave’s Gone By, Dave gave to theen: Pre-tampered yummies Actress Karen Young Jokes about Verizon And a bunch of goodies tied to Halloween.
On the fifth night of Dave’s Gone By, Dave gave to thee: The Giving Chimp! A review of Movin’ Out Crooked politicians LaRouche on the web And “Peter Pumpkinhead” by XTC.
On the sixth night of Dave’s Gone By, WGBB gave Dave a new timeslot He played William Finn Also Lonnie Donegan And the hippie, Donovan Even Homer Simpson And old Coco, the poet chimpanzee.
On the seventh night of Dave’s Gone By, Dave gave to thee: Osama bin Laden Good ol’ Bobby Dylan Eilert Pilarm! A Warren Zevon tribute Rock throwing in India (in the Chhindwara district of Madhya Pradesh) Eating sushi naked And a new commuter tax for you and me.
Oh, the eighth night of Dave’s Gone By was quite a joyful spree: Rabbi Solomon hosted He lit the candles He played the dreidel He played Adam Sandler And a little klezmer Bitched about the Arabs And Bobby Fischer Plus a poem on pedophile Pee-Wee.
On the ninth day of Dave’s Gone By, Dave gave to thee: “Trees” by Joyce Kilmer “Tuesdays with Morrie” “My Old Lady” Wilson’s Book of Days Dead Kurt Cobain! A bit by Woody Allen Sponsorship info Two insurance sketches And a psychic hotline like TV.
On the tenth night of Dave’s Gone By, Dave gave to thee: Steve Herbst, the Whistler He did Stevie Wonder, Sondheim and Led Zeppelin and Bruce Springsteen! Drugged-out Whitney Houston Kissinger’s back Dave’s name on a urinal And a poem on Cablevision fees.
On the eleventh night of Dave’s Gone By, Dave gave to thee: Trent Lott’s apology Critic Charlie Gross Music by Frank Zappa United Airlines MTA strike Two killer pitbulls Scientist who burned his penis! Right-wing Joe Salzone Bush and the economy Bloomberg on a bike And the Man of La Mancha on CD.
Whoa, the twelfth night of Dave’s Gone By was full of songs and joy `Cause the past eleven weeks, I’ve been able to annoy: Gospel-seeking listeners Those who worship Elvis Those who loathe Neil Young Republicans Pro-Palestinians Born-again Christians Self-hating Jews All my engineers! People who hate theater People who love theater L.I. Cablevision And the people who don’t want me to be me.
(spoken) But it’s all I can be. So happy holidays, everybody.
Dave sings about the merchandising of Kurt Cobain.
Segment originally aired Dec. 1, 2002, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.
All content (c)2002 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
NIRVANITY by David Lefkowitz (to the melody of “All Apologies”)
What became of me? Read my diary It’s all there to see Where’s my privacy?
Courtney Love Courtney Love Made a buck Courtney Love Filthy slut She’s scary Be wary She buried me
Wanted to be rich Bigger than The Rolling Stones Joined Nirvana which spawned a hundred clones Now that greedy bitch Is feeding off my bones
I confess I was a mess In intestinal distress Well, I guess Should’ve eaten less Dairy It was very Like dysentery
All I am is money now All I am is money now
I was in hell Needed to get free So I gave myself A full lobotomy Now Courtney sells All my history Why must she be Such a twat to me?
All my thoughts All my secret, private dreams All my doodles All my pain On Amazon With my pajamas on I guess the glamour’s gone
All I am is money now All I am is money now All I am is money now All I am is money now . . .
Written specifically for my radio show, a song, to the tune of “Hobo’s Lullaby,” that celebrates the capture of the Beltway snipers
On the fourth episode of my radio show, Dave’s Gone By, we closed the News Gone By segment with a bit about two men who were arrested for the Beltway sniper attacks in Washington DC. Here’s my intro to the song as it aired on our Halloween-themed program, Oct. 27, 2002:
“It looks like the Beltway nightmare has come to an end. John Allen Muhammad and his juvenile accomplice, John Malvo, have been arrested in connection with a month-long series of shootings in Washington DC, Maryland, and Virginia. A former army soldier, National Guardsman and—surprise!—a convert to that gentle religion, Islam, Muhammad modified his used Chevrolet so he could fire comfortably out the back without being seen. Towards the end of the manhunt, Muhmmad also begged to be caught—leaving notes on trees, giving out his phone number, making generic threats against children, and requesting $10 million in blackmail.
This desperation may be attributed to the lack of a good night’s sleep—since Muhammad and Malvo apparently spent the last week catching their z’s in a Chevy, which is where they were caught by Montgomery County police. Since they’ll now have plenty of time to rest and relax—say, 800 to 900 consecutive years (700 with good behavior)—I thought it only fitting to dedicate this 40-year-old ballad by Goebel Reeves to them (lyrics slightly revised).”
The song was then performed live in the radio studio, with backing by the country-folk band, Eddie and the Moonshiners, led by Eddie Hug.
SNIPER’S LULLABY
(sung to the tune of Goebel Reeves’s Hobo’s Lullaby)
Go to sleep, you weary sniper
Soon the world will watch you die
Can’t you hear the steel chains clankin’?
That’s the sniper’s lullaby.
You’ll no longer have a rifle
When your trigger fingers itch
Fear will be your companion
Fear and some dude who calls you “bitch.”
Ten dead bodies cry for blood now
They shall not leave you in peace
I will say one good thing for you:
You got a steal on that Caprice.
So when ya die and go to Hades
Take that Malvo with you, too
You can call yourself Muhammad
But you’re still screwed `cause God’s a Jew
