Dave imagines a conversation between Woody Allen and his therapist.
Segment originally aired Dec. 1, 2003, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode
All content (c)2003 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
click above to listen (broadcast Dec. 1, 2003)click above to listen (audio only)
Glen Campbell raises a glass too many.
This segment first aired Dec. 1, 2003 on the “Dave’s Gone By” program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz. Full episodes also available on youtube, Facebook (davesgoneby), Spotify, and on DavesGoneBy.com.
All content (c)2003 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
PHOENIX ENVY
(Lyrics: David Lefkowitz. Music: Jimmy Webb’s “By the Time I Get to Phoenix”)
(spoken in a slur) Let go o’ me! Let go o’ me!
By the time I get to Phoenix, I’ll be weavin’ Goin’ 80 miles an hour, maybe more I’ll smash that lame Toyota with my Beemer If there’s damage, that’s what royalties are for
By the time the police find me, I’ll be plastered I’ll ramble on and on and on and on and on just like a kook I’ll kick and fight those law-enforcement bastards And fill their breathalyzer up with puke
By the time I get to prison, I’ll be sleepin’ I’ll be dreamin’ of how big I used to be My son will pay my bail, and he’ll be weepin’ I’ll say, “Daddy’s gonna fight this! Wait and see.
This is how most country music comes to be Let’s go home and talk this over, you and me (hiccups) Wait, you go. That bar is open until three.”
Joe Salzone interviews controversial pop legend Michael Jackson
Segment aired Aug. 19, 2004, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode
All content (c)2003 TotalTheater Productions. More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
click above for episode #50 (audio only)Click above to listen to the episode (audio only).
Here is the 50th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on New York’s WGBB-AM radio Nov. 3, 2003. Info: davesgoneby.com.
host: Dave Lefkowitz
Featuring: Dave pays tribute to Dr. Demento by playing novelty classics. Plus: the satirical News Gone By.
00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN: Opening comments, tribute to Dr. Demento 00:05:00 DR. DAVEMENTO: Zany music and comedy, a la Dr. D. 00:51:00 NEWS GONE BY: Washington’s Whiskey; All Tempa-Petrol; Candle-making for Dummies; Jerry Lewis Film Festival; Stoned Sperm; Butt Hole Road 01:02:00 MORE DR. DAVEMENTO: More zany music and comedy, a la Dr. D. 01:25:00 DAVE GOES OUT: Thank yous and best wishes
November 3, 2003 Playlist: “Cocktails for Two” (00:05:00; Spike Jones); “Magic Toenail” (00:08:00; Brak); “They’re Coming to Take Me Away, Ha Ha” (00:09:00; Napoleon XIV), “Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh” (00:17:00; Allan Sherman); “My Dead Dog Rover” (00:20:00; Hank, Stu, Dave & Hank); “Dead Puppies” (00:22:00; Ogden Edsl); “Happy Boy” (00:24:30; Beat Farmers); “Class Clown – Bi-labial Fricative” (00:27:00; George Carlin); “Who’s Sorry Now” (00:32:00; Shooby Taylor; “Santa Claus Has Got the AIDS This Year” (00:34:00; Tiny Tim); “Shoot Me in the Ass” (00:36:00; Wesley Willis); “My Name is Larry” (00:39:00; Wild Man Fischer), “Earache My Eye” (00:46:00; Cheech & Chong); Fishheads (00:52:00; Barnes & Barnes); “Have a Peanut Butter Sandwich” (00:54:00; Art Paul Schlosser); “Makin’ Poopies” (00:58:00; Dave). “Hooked On Polkas” (00:60:00; Weird Al Yankovic); “Spam” (00:6:00; Monty Python); “I Hold Your Hand in Mine” (00:69:00; Tom Lehrer). “Shaving Cream” (00:71:00; Benny Bell).
Segment aired Sept. 22, 2003, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode
All content (c)2003 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
If Minnesota can have a radio home companion, why not suburban Long Island?
Segment originally aired Sept. 22, 2003, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast. Complete Original Broadcast: Full Episode
All content (c)2003 TotalTheater Productions. More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
Radio host Joe Salzone interviews Russell Weller,* the 86-year-old man whose Buick LeSabre plowed into 60 people at a Santa Monica Farmer’s Market.
*not really. Segment originally aired July 20, 2003, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz. Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode
All content (c)2003 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
Segment originally aired June 29, 2003, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
Dave’s Gone By Song (5/11/2003): THE BALLAD OF PETE TOWNSHEND
The Who legend explains his internet searches.
This segment first aired May 11, 2003 as part of the “News Gone By” segment of the “Dave’s Gone By” program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz. Full episodes also available on youtube, Facebook (davesgoneby), Spotify, and on DavesGoneBy.com.
All content (c)2003 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
SONG: The Ballad of Pete Townshend
THE BALLAD OF PETE TOWNSHEND
(Lyrics: David Lefkowitz. Music: Alan Jay Lerner and Frederick Loewe’s “Thank Heaven for Little Girls”)
Thank heaven for little girls
For little girls are small in every way
Thank heaven for little boys
You can look at them with lust and not be gay.
When I was just a lad, I was molested
That’s why I like `em small and thimble-breasted
Thank heaven for little girls
For leading boys like me astray
Don’t call me a pedophile
Or judge me by the websites that I join
It’s normal to be beguiled
By fuzz upon an adolescent groin
A toddler in a speedo knocks me socks off
Just watching “Teletubbies” gets me rocks off
Thank heaven for little girls
And naked baby bodies on display
Thank heaven for pre-teen porn
The internet is full of nubile flesh
And please don’t treat me with scorn
`Cause once they menstruate, they’re not so fresh
When I get me a towel to put me sperm in
I do like Jeffrey Jones and Pee-Wee Herman
Thank heaven for little girls
For blowing boys like me away
Thank heaven for little girls
Their bottoms are just perfect for a spank
There’s nothing in all the world
Like reading “Little Women” when I –
(spoken) “Wait. Wait a minute. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls: as a member of The Who, I have been in the public eye for forty odd years. Aren’t I entitled to a little privacy? A little private time between me and me hard drive? It’s just research. To fight sexual abuse of children, you have to think like a pervert. As my music teacher once told me, `If you wanna play the violin, you gotta fiddle around a bit. Fiddle around a bit,’ he said. So ladies and gentlemen, I ask you to indulge a creative person. An artist. When I ram the neck of me Gibson Les Paul into an amp and make a big hole, that’s just a sublimation of your desires, ain’t it? And do you really think I could do that windmill move on the guitar if I didn’t spend hours practicing on something else?”
Young ladies are heaven sent
I keep them after school for a pop quiz
They finger me instrument
And when they’re done, I fill them up with . . . joy.
Dave unearths a patriotic war song from the not-so-good-old days.
Segment originally aired May 3, 2003, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode
All content (c)2003 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
CAPTAIN LIFLANDER’S MADRIGAL
Oh, Americans crave a tranquil life We just want to live in peace But the planet gives us war and strife And it does not seem to cease
So we send our soldiers overseas To protect our global plan To bring our enemies to their knees We’ll fight to the very last man.
With a row-dow, row-diddle dow, With a row-dow diddle-aye dan.
If Saddam Hussein wants to bitch and complain And to hide his poison gas We’ll bomb his fields And shall not yield Till we kick some towelhead ass.
After that, look out Afghanistan `Cause we’re coming back for more For we bombed a slew of civilians there No one cares if we kill a few more.
With a row-dow, row-diddle dow, With a row-dow diddle-aye dor.
All this fear and fright from the Yemenites Is a game we will not play We will torture and kill each terrorist – Where the hell is Yemen anyway?
And if Saudi Arabia doesn’t toe the line We can bomb their palaces, too And we’ll pick that Black Hawk up again From the streets of Mogadishu.
With a row-dow, row-diddle dow, With a row-dow diddle-aye doo.
To fight fundamentalists in Iran We must aid and strengthen the Kurds Disembowel the Sikhs Those heathen freaks By dropping bombs like turds
Oh, the Hindus and the Pakis, too, They will dance to Yankee jigs For the only way to keep Indians free Is to treat them just like nigs
With a row-dow, row-diddle dow, With a row-dow diddle-aye digs.
We shall go to Northern Ireland To remove hostility We’ll hide strychnine in the Catholics’ ale Cyanide in the Protestants’ tea
If the Russkies dare to pollute our air With threats of nuclear attack We will give those worms Some smallpox germs And the Chechen rebels, anthrax
With a row-dow, row-diddle dow, With a row-dow diddle-aye dax.
If the Chinese hun won’t leave Taiwan We shall push them under the waves We shall strafe them all by the Beijing wall Put fortune cookies on their graves
We shall visit North Korea next And we’ll blast those gooks to hell Maybe this time we can push them back To the 35th Parallel.
With a row-dow, row-diddle dow, With a row-dow diddle-aye dell.
We will stand in the sand of Palestine Show the Yids who’s really boss Blow the head off any Arab kid With a stone he’s planning to toss
Oh, the Ivory Coast will soon be toast When we force Gbagbo to retrench We will give all the rebels Pepsi and Coke Just to thumb our nose at the French
With a row-dow, row-diddle dow, With a row-dow diddle-aye dench.
When I see those hateful pacifist How I loathe to see them whine For they do not know how urgent it is To protect the bottom line
So if some young soldiers have to die For the good old USA Let them blow our enemies to the sky For that’s the American way.
With a row-dow, row-diddle dow, With a row-dow diddle-hooray.
With a row-dow, row-diddle dow, With a row-dow diddle-aye dench.
Radio host Joe Salzone interviews Russell Weller,* the 86-year-old man whose Buick LeSabre plowed into 60 people at a Santa Monica Farmer’s Market.
Gay activist Peter Fitzgerald on Gay Pride Day
