SONG: Mr. Poodangles

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A ballad about a man in distress.

Song scheduled to air April 22, 2023, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” video podcast program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

All content (c)2023 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

MR. POODANGLES

(Note: Sung to melody of Jerry Jeff Walker’s “Mr. Bojangles”)

I met a man, Poodangles, in a portajohn
And he was in pain
He said that he’d been sittin’ there all afternoon
Dead-tired from the strain

He started to cry
I asked him why
And then he explained

“When I was young so long ago, I ate some beef
That stuck in my gut,
And ever since I’ve been backed up with no relief
it’s ruptured my butt.”

The poor man did shout,
“It’s half in, half out.
And my anus won’t shut.”

Mr. Poodangles, Mr. Poodangles, Mr. Poodangles:
Squeeze.

He said he spent ten thousand bucks on Dulcolax
and all kinds of lube
But still he’s got a wad of turd that won’t go back
or drop from his tube

Lamenting his trials
He kneels on the tiles
Then he shows me his piles

Mr. Poodangles, Mr. Poodangles, Mr. Poodangles:
Pinch.

The last time I saw `dangles he was skin and bones
but still on the bowl 
Sore and sad and bleedin’ bad and all alone
with his unwholesome hole

And yet he still pushed
On his mush
But it clung to his tush

They tell me Poo was buried in the portaloo
His final request
They sent him off with flowers and a Charmin roll
And all the towels he messed

And when the earth dropped
Everyone stopped…
Did they hear a “plop”?

Mr. Poodangles. Mr. Poodangles. Mr. Poodangles.
Rest.

(c)2023 David Lefkowitz

SONGS – List & Links

Hi folks! Here are audio archives and written lyrics of original songs performed on DAVE’S GONE BY.
All material is copyright protected by the author, as noted.

Captain Liflander’s War Madrigal
(5/3/03) Dave unearths a patriotic war song from the not-so-good-old days.
Listen / Full Episode
Cover’d with Crap
(3/16/03) Dave sings a delightfully repugnant sea shanty.
Listen / Full Episode
Dayenu 2003
(4/13/03): Rabbi Sol Solomon sings a Purim song about the resilience of the Jews.
Listen / Full Episode
Deep in the Heart of Dallas
(7/9/16): Dave sings a socio-political ditty.
Listen / Full Episode
A Dingo Ate My Baby
(1/26/03) Dave goes down under to sing of a tasty tragedy.
Listen / Full Episode
Don’t Mess with Us
(3/16/03): Rabbi Sol Solomon sings a Purim song about the resilience of the Jews.
Listen / Full Episode
Enema Blues
(1/19/03): Joined by Scott Rodolitz, Dave Lefkowitz sings the Fisch-Heads song, “Enema Blues.”
Listen / Full Episode
(I’m Having a) Gay Christmas
(12/23/04): Gay icon Peter Fitzgerald sings a Yuletide ditty.
Listen / Full Episode
I’m Too Sexy (For My Prostate
(9/2/17): The medical complaints of…who else? Rabbi Sol Solomon
Listen / Full Episode

Is it Good for the Jews?
(12/9/04): Rabbi Sol Solomon asks an age-old question in song.
Listen / Full Episode
It’s a Stiff
(12/8/03): A holiday ditty based on the true story of a woman who disposed of her unwanted infant in a not-so-Christmassy way.
Listen / Full Episode
Jeopardy Ken
(7/22/04): A song of tribute to Jeopardy champion Ken Jennings.
Listen / Full Episode
Jerree
(8/26/17): A plea from one of Jerry’s Kids.
Listen

Joey, the Spastic Kangaroo
(1/26/03): Dave goes down under to relate the tale of a mentally retarded marsupial.
Listen / Full Episode
Look What They Done to My Head
(6/24/04): With Muslim terrorists now staging decapitations for video, let’s imagine a song to go with them.
Listen / Full Episode
Makin’ Poopies
(11/4/04): A song celebrating the joys of relief.
Listen / Full Episode
M-O-T-H-E-R
(5/11/03): Dave sings a Mother’s Day tribute to moms, acronymically.
Listen / Full Episode
My Doggy’s Christmas Gift
(12/30/04): A holiday song to warm the cockles of pet lovers’ hearts everywhere.
Listen / Full Episode
Nirvanity
(12/1/02): Dave sings about the merchandising of Kurt Cobain.
Listen / Full Episode
Oh, Dat Ben!
(11/14/15): Dave found this beautiful, spiritual hymn sung by presidential candidate Ben Carson. Or at least about him.
Listen / Full Episode
The Rectum of Edmund Fitzgerald
(1/19/04): A ballad not-so-loosely based on the Mepham High School sodomy trial on Long Island.
Listen / Full Episode
Santasia
(12/23/04): A deeply warped and perverted take on “The Night Before Christmas,” for your holiday pleasure.
Listen / Full Episode
Seamus, the Urine Man
(3/16/03): Recently back from Dublin, Dave sings of his encounter with an Irish legend.
Listen / Full Episode
Sniper’s Lullaby
(10/27/02): A song, to the tune of “Hobo’s Lullaby,” that celebrates the capture of the Beltway Snipers
Listen / Full Episode
Take Your Underoos Down (The Rolf Harris Song)
(7/19/14): In July 2014, legendary Australian TV personality Rolf Harris was sentenced to 69 months in prison for molesting numerous under-aged women over the course of two decades. Let’s hear his song, shall we?
Listen / Full Episode
Three Nights Before Christmas (2002)
(12/22/02): Dave recites a topical holiday poem.
Listen / Full Episode
Trayvon
(7/20/13): A song about the Trayvon Martin/George Zimmerman confrontation and trial.
Listen / Full Episode
The Twelve Complaints of Christmas
(12/22/02): Rabbi Sol Solomon sings a crabby holiday classic.
Listen / Full Episode
Twelve Months of Dave’s Gone By
(12/22/02): Dave sings a holiday carol for his radio show.
Listen / Full Episode
Undies
(8/24/13): At last, Joey Eugene Gallegos, the Greeley Underwear Bandit, has been apprehended, and here is his song.
Listen / Full Episode
We Killed Santa Claus
(12/23/04): A humbuggy holiday carol.
Listen / Full Episode
When Bushie Goes Marching In
(3/23/03): Dave’s rah-rah ballad to mark the start of the war in Iraq.
Listen / Full Episode

Dave’s Gone By Song: HELLO COVID (A Letter from Cramps)

Dave Lefkowitz sings the song, “Hello Covid.”

click above to listen to the song (audio only)
click above for a video file of the song.

(with apologies to Ponchielli and Allan Sherman)

Segment airs Aug. 29, 2020, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program/podcast hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.

All content (c)2020 TotalTheater Productions. “Hello Covid” (c)2020 David Lefkowitz.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

Dave’s Gone By Song (4/21/18): CHESTER’S GAY

A coming-out song about things going in.

Note: contains adult themes.

Song airs March 17, 2018, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations.  For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.

All content (c)2018 TotalTheater Productions.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
Download video file of audio content

Dave’s Gone By Song (3/17/18): KISS ME, I’M IRISH

A song for the Irishman in all of us.

Note: contains profanity and adult themes.

Song airs March 17, 2018, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.

All content (c)2018 TotalTheater Productions.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
Download video file of audio content

Dave’s Gone By Song (2/26/18): OFF COLOUR

A song for, and about, young and old. Sung to the melody of Donovan’s “Colours.”

Song airs March 3, 2018, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.

All content (c)2018 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
Download video file of audio content

Dave’s Gone By Song (2/16/18): AR-15

Expelled from his high school, Nikolas Cruz returned on Valentine’s Day, 2018, to shoot 32 people, killing 17. Here’s his song.

Song scheduled to air Feb. 17, 2018, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast. All content

(c)2017 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
download video file of audio content

Dave’s Gone By Song (8/27/17): I’M TOO SEXY (FOR MY PROSTATE)

Sung by Rabbi Sol Solomon to the melody of Right Said Fred’s “I’m Too Sexy.”
Song aired Sept. 2, 2017, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.
All content (c)2017 TotalTheater Productions.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
More information on Rabbi Sol Solomon: www.shalomdammit.com

Dave’s Gone By Song (8/26/17): JERREE

A plea from one of Jerry’s Kids.

Song scheduled to air Aug. 26, 2017, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.

All content (c)2017 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
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Dave’s Gone By Song (7/9/16): DEEP IN THE HEART OF DALLAS

ZZ-Song-DeepintheHeartofDallasDave sings his socio-political ditty, “Deep in the Heart of Dallas.”

Song originally aired July 9, 2016, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode

All content (c)2016 TotalTheater Productions.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

DEEP IN THE HEART OF DALLAS

Oh the moon shone bright on a hot July night
Deep in the heart of Dallas
The crowd turned out to holler and shout
Deep in the heart of Dallas

They came in peace to protest police
Deep in the heart of Dallas
`Cause if you’re brown, you’ll get shot down
Pretty much anywhere, not just Dallas

Baton Rouge’s best shot a black in the chest
Deep in Louisiana
The gun was in his pocket, but the cops just said, “aw, fuck it!”
Deep in Louisiana

A few hours later in St. Paul, Minnesater
A guy and gal were drivin’
A zealous cop made them come to a stop
They thought that he was jivin’

The fuzz did shout, “Your taillight is out!
Let’s see your registration.”
He meant no harm, but he shot up the guy’s arm.
Which caused some consternation.

With two blacks dead all the people said,
“Out in the streets we’ll gather,
We’ll show the fuzz what a movement does:
Hashtag – Black Lives Matter.”

But one lone man had a bigger plan
Deep in the heart of Dallas
His name was Micah
And whites? He no like-ah
Deep in the heart of Dallas

Feelin’ low and mean with a full magazine
Deep in the heart of Dallas
He aimed real well, and the bodies fell
Deep in the heart of Dallas

A robot bomb blew his ass to kingdom come
Deep in the heart of Dallas
But not before he wounded seven more
Deep in the heart of Dallas

Now the cops hate blacks and the blacks hate them back
And nothing’s gonna stop it
And that is what we’re stuck with.
Each one thinks that the other one stinks
And boy, you better not fuck with.

The victims wail when the systems fail
Deep in the heart of America
It’s just another day in the good ol’ USA

© 2016 David Lefkowitz


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